Buster: ...hole in my heart. I’ve never opened my eyes underwater. My, um... (Whispering.) genital area... (Normal voice.) is shaped like a... (Whispering.) lobster tail, ... (Normal voice.) but without its shell. Uh, oh, I guess I have the panic attacks under control. Oh, and I’m legally blind at night.

Narrator: But Buster had miscalculated the Army’s current need for personnel.

Army Doctor: Okay, then, let’s get you fitted for a uniform.

Buster: What? (Panicked whimper.)