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#17 Beatrice wrote on February 26, 2005:

i loved what she did in the most recent episode,
"THAT BITCH!"

michael: "mom you’re not at home, and she’s not next door when you’re here."

#18 Cannonballism wrote on March 08, 2005:

"I don’t under stand the question and I won’t respond..."

is an awful lot like...

"I don’t know who that is and I don’t care to find out..."

#19 la_kings_lawsuit wrote on March 10, 2005:

don’t forget how bad a driver she is. taking off the hand and the near accident this week were nice delves into that.

" She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking “albino” in the form. "

And the word’s worst drivers was great!
They need to do another one of those.

#20 Cannonballism wrote on March 10, 2005:

They kind of did allude to that when she almost hit George Sr. when she was going to the hospital.

"Up yours Granny!"

"You couldn’t handle it!"


Ahhh. The perfect couple.

#21 kid_17 wrote on January 06, 2006:

Well I’d like to take this opportunity to declare my love for Lucille and, of course, Jessica Walter. Shes definitely my favourite character and it doesnt matter if she doesnt get much air time as long as shes still as cold as shes ever been.

Best lines:

"hello, is Rosa still alive? no? it has not been my day"

"They’ve got a bus, and they want to use parking lot to this building as a meeting place. I mean, for God’s sake, it’s not a hardware store. We can’t have them hanging around like a bunch of freeloaders looking for an easy buck"

"Oh, Michael, honey. I want to cry so bad. But I don’t think I can spare the moisture"

"Really? Did “nothing” cancel?"

"Everyone’s laughing and riding and cornholing except Buster"

"So this should be easy for you. That one didn’t count."

"First I blow him then I poke him"

Then of course when she fired Lupe and bought that robot:
"Robot!!!"

And the narrator, after Lucille decided to start praying:
"this was a big get for God"

#22 Amethyst wrote on January 06, 2006:

I love how she makes no secret of the fact that GOB is her least favorite child.

"I love all of my children equally."
(earlier that day)
"I don’t care for GOB."

Then there’s the time when she thinks Lucille 2 is going after her by being with GOB, and says, "But the joke’s on her. She doesn’t realize how little I care for GOB." And then Michael says, "I think that makes the joke on GOB."

Also the line where she tells Michael (at least I think it was Michael), "You’re my third least favorite child," subtly implying that GOB is the fourth least favorite.

#23 Musty Old Claptrap wrote on January 07, 2006:

Lucille isn’t my fave character but she has the ability to make me crack up more than any of the other characters. "It’s his glasses, they make him look like a lizard" gets me every time.

#24 kid_17 wrote on January 07, 2006:

And how could I forget:

"TAKE IT BACK! If I wanted something your thumb touched I’d eat the inside of your ear!"

#25 snazzyjer wrote on September 06, 2006:

One of my favorite Lucille moments isn’t so much a line, but when GOB is looking for a friend in AMIGOS—she looks at him suspiciously through the door and then closes it in his face, slowly. Genious.

I also like when she’s on the phone with Michael:
Lucille—Better hope Lindsay doesn’t find out. She’ll be devastated...
(As Lindsay enters and overhears)
Lindsay—Find out what?
Lucille—Your husband’s dating Kitty the whore.
Lindsay—He is? That’s...that’s terrible.
Lucille—Do I know my daughter?

#26 Banana Family wrote on September 06, 2006:

I love the line

Miichael: I got a nice hard cot for him down in prison
Lucille: You’d do that to your own brother
Michael: I said cot

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