Two truths and a lie

[Cherith_Cutestory]

Yeah, I'm guessing 3 also, just cause it sounds kinda creepy

ok, my turn:

1. I met Hank Azaria
2. I met Tim Curry
3. I Met David Hyde Pierce

and bonus points if you can guess how I met them (thats probably pretty easy though)

[Frightened Inmate #2]

The lie was the $350 in the envelope.

I hope the third one was the made-up one, because that's just too bizarre. I mean, did the guy actually fess up to stealing money from you to try and get you in trouble? If so, that's gotta be a Darwin award nominee.

I couldn't believe it either.

It's a long, bleep -ed up story:

One day, as I left study hall, I noticed a set of car keys on the floor. I picked them up, asked some of the people in the study hall if they knew whose keys they were. They didn't. I brought them to the office and had one of the secretaries put them in lost and found, thinking, "Hey, if I lost my car keys in school, first place I'd go was to lost and found".

Well, this guy, a football (americano) player, didn't think that way. So he catches a ride home with a friend, to get his spare key. After he picks up his car, he heads home and manges to crash it. Totaled.

The next day in study hall, the school disciplinarian, who doubled as the head football coach, called me to his office. Apparently, one of the football player's friends had told him the saw me with a set of keys the day before. That led him to believe that I had stolen the car keys, and that the disciplinarian would be sympathetic.

The three of us: me, the moron jock, and his coach, are sitting in the coach/disciplinarian's office.

The conversation that followed:

Me: What's the problem, sir?
Coach: Jeff, here, thinks you stole his car keys.
Me: What? I didn't.
Jeff: Well, "so and so" saw you with a set of car keys yesterday, and he thinks they were mine. I crashed the car last night and I think you should be held responsible.

Me: Yeah, I found a set of keys on the floor after study hall yesterday, but that doesn't mean I stole them. I turned them into lost and found, seeing as that would be the first place someone would go looking if they lost something of that nature. And how am I responsible?

Coach: Jeff, did you check with lost and found?
Jeff: uh, no.
Coach: Well, go check.

[Jeff exits to main office, returns a minute later, with car keys in hand.]

Me: See!? Why would you accuse me of stealing your keys, when you didn't even check in the most obvious place?
Jeff: Like I said, "so and so", saw you with the keys yesterday, and I thought you were taking revenge on me.
Me: For what? I hardly even know you.
Jeff: I don't know, forget it. Doesn't matter.
Me: What? That's bullshit. Tell me what you thought I was taking revenge for, jackass.
Coach: [points to me] Watch your mouth in my office. [looks at Jeff] What's going on here?
Jeff: [dejected] Well, uhh…I kinda stole money from you backpack while you were in gym a few months ago. I thought you knew it was me.

[Coach's jaw drops]

Me: [fuming] That was you?
Coach: This isn't good Jeff.
Jeff: Uh-huh.
Me: No kidding it isn't good. I want my money back.
Coach: You'll get your money back. You can go, come back and see me Monday.
Me: Fine. I'd like a written apology, too. This is a joke.


A week later I had my money back. Enclosed with it was a hand written apology, that, truthfully I never read.

Names were changed and "so and so" is used for a name that has since been forgotten.

That story is an absolute thing of beauty. I believe Karma is the term often used here.

Here's what I learned from that tale:

1. Watch your mouth in Coach's office.
2. This wasn't good for Jeff.
3. You can go when Coach says you can go.

[I ate all your bees]

Is this "Jeff" misguided or just different?

[Frightened Inmate #2]

Yeah, I'm guessing 3 also, just cause it sounds kinda creepy

ok, my turn:

1. I met Hank Azaria
2. I met Tim Curry
3. I Met David Hyde Pierce

and bonus points if you can guess how I met them (thats probably pretty easy though)

I'm going to say that you met, er, Hank Azaria and Tim Curry. And obviously, you met them at the hit Broadway show, "Seussical."

I mean "Spamalot"

This is fun.

1. I bungee jumped.
2. I sky dived (well, a tandem dive).
3. I saw a man get shot.

[byron]

Here's what I learned from that tale:

1. Watch your mouth in Coach's office.
2. This wasn't good for Jeff.
3. You can go when Coach says you can go.

Is this "Jeff" misguided or just different?

Technically, he was not "misguided". Although, perhaps a second opinion should have been sought.

[Cherith_Cutestory]

Yeah, I'm guessing 3 also, just cause it sounds kinda creepy

ok, my turn:

1. I met Hank Azaria
2. I met Tim Curry
3. I Met David Hyde Pierce

and bonus points if you can guess how I met them (thats probably pretty easy though)

I'm going to say that you met, er, Hank Azaria and Tim Curry. And obviously, you met them at the hit Broadway show, "Seussical."

I mean "Spamalot"

This is fun.

1. I bungee jumped.
2. I sky dived (well, a tandem dive).
3. I saw a man get shot.

I WISH I met Tim Curry, but he left the cast two days before we saw it. And I'm gonna guess that you didnt see a man get shot, but if you did than that kinda sucks


Ok, follow up:

My friend had lunch with David Hyde Pierce
My mom yelled at David Hyde Pierce
David Hyde Pierce yelled at my mom

[ett]

I'm guessing your friend having lunch with DHP is a lie. It seems too much like one of those poser stories you wish you could tell, although I'm sure he has good table manners.

Why the other 2 might be true: David Hyde Pierce is sick of being second fiddle to Frasier. That's enough to make anyone snap. He'd probably yell at someone if he were being yelled at, and let's face it, moms yell. I'm pretty sure that it's not just my mom, and for some reason other ADdicts seem like the most likely TV fans to have weird moms (okay, there's also those One Tree Hill watchers... they just didn't get raised properly.) thus spurring you to (no offense) have the kind of mom who might yell at someone, as wiry and blond-haired as he may be.

FI2, I'm hoping you didn't see a man get shot, unless you're just waiting in the wings to say "... with a watergun. Sorry, I should've finished that thought." Or maybe you're saying it in order to further your rap career.

I don't think I want to reveal my lie quite yet, because I want to see what other people think.
Bees, did you actually suspect that teacher of being an MI-5 agent or was he just a quack who wishes you would? He kind of sounds like a philosophy teacher I had who was more than a little off his rocker. (Except for one cool story he told about his college days, where in one of the dorms someone had scrawled on the wall "God is dead." - Nietzsche and some other dude had written underneath it, "Nietzsche is dead." - God. I had that class for ten weeks. That was more or less all I enjoyed.)

Oh, and my last post in this thread was my benchmark 250th. And it mentioned midgets. Make of that what you will.

[Cherith_Cutestory]

Well I should have said that my mom didnt yell anything mean spirited at DHP. It was after we saw Spamalot and we were waiting at the stage doors to get our programs signed, and when he wakled out she was trying to grab his attention, so she started yelling "SARATOGA, SARATOGA" because we live near there, and knew that he grew up in Saratoga Springs. Well it did grab his attention.

and Yes, my friend had lunch with DHP, because he was friends with his aunt who he was visiting at the time

[ett]

I take it back. Your mom sounds fun.

[Premiere]

1. I have only stolen one thing in my life and it was a Sesame Street magazine.
2. I accidentally helped a friend sell drugs.
3. My mother and grandmother got in a physical fight about pies.

[Cherith_Cutestory]

I honestly dont know which one to pick, they all sound bizarrly amazing

[each]

I wish they were all true...

[LickMyLovePump]

I'll guess no. 1. I think you've stolen alot more than one magazine in your time. Perhaps you were a little tyke at school? Maybe a teacher saw something in you. Some potential. He took you under his wing and polished you into the sparkling diamond you've become?

If I'm wrong discount my 3, but here goes:


1. I only have the use of one nostril at any given time. The nostril which works sometimes suddenly changes, like it will be the left for months and months at a time, and then suddenly change to the right one.

2. I was excluded from school 5 times, once for a period of two weeks for hitting a teacher in the eye with an elastic band and almost blinding him.

3. At 13 I ran away to join the circus. I couldn't find the circus and so returned home the next day.

[Premiere]

I'm gonna guess number 2. 1 is a condition a lot of the people I know have and 3 is just insane enough to be true.

As for mine, I have never stolen anything in my life. Which is so weird concerning all of the illegal activity I've never had any problem with, but I've never liked the idea of stealing. And my mom and grandma did get in a fight that started about some pies on he day before Thanksgiving. Cops came, pies were kept for the next day and a good time was had by all.

The non-truth was number 2. It was no accident.

[Frightened Inmate #2]

FI2, I'm hoping you didn't see a man get shot, unless you're just waiting in the wings to say "... with a watergun. Sorry, I should've finished that thought." Or maybe you're saying it in order to further your rap career.

Incorrect. The answer is (2), I've never skydived.

About 12 years ago, I was walking home late at night when I started to approach three people (2 men and a woman) having an argument. When I was about 25 feet away, the one pulled out a gun and shot the other, then ran away. I stood there motionless for a few seconds (I guess you could now call me Frightened Pedestrian #2 ), then went up to help the guy who was shot. He was actually not seriously hurt. He showed me that the bullet pierced his sweatpants but only grazed his leg. So I went home, locked the door, and two months later moved out of the city (though not for that reason.)

Funny, but I now work about five blocks where that incident took place.