vcalzone wrote:Elves wins in my book.
- The plot is about a race of elves genetically bred by the Nazis to create a superarmy.
- This plot will begin when an escaped Nazi gets his granddaughter and daughter (who is one person) to begin this superrace when she becomes impregnated by one of the elves.
- The movie stars Dan Haggerty (yes, TV's Grizzly Adams) as a badass department store Santa named Mike McGavin who has to stop the elves.
- These are actual quotes from the movie (helpfully provided by IMDB):
Kirsten's Mother: Your father's in the study.
Kirsten: What? No. Grandfather's in the study. Dad is dead.
Kirsten's Mother: Your grandfather is your grandfather AND your father!
Kirsten: [after catching her brother spying on her] I'm your bleeping sister.
Kirsten's Brother: Yeah, you've got bleeping big tits and I'm going to tell everybody I saw them.
Mike McGavin: Tell me about the connection between the elves and the Nazis.
Blueberry Head wrote:looks like i have to pull out the big guns. there are no trolls in troll 2, only goblins. a family trades houses with another for a week for vacation and they go to the small town of nilbog (gee, i wonder what that spells backwards?). the goblins are vegetarians. they eat people by giving them some green stuff which turns people into half-human/half-plants, which just so happens to be the goblins' favorite food!
this is involved in one of the more well-known scenes in the movie. they are sitting down to eat a meal prepared by the family that they switched homes with, and it has the green stuff all over it. apparently they're too hungry to notice green cake frosting on corn on the cob. the main character, joshua, a boy about 10 years old, doesn't know what he should do to save his family. thankfully, his dead grandfather seth knocks on the window, and tells him that he has to do something. not helping much there. then grandpa seth freezes time, but only for 30 seconds. if he has this power, he could've given his grandson a bit more time than that. joshua thinks, then repeats "i must, i must do it!" to himself before he stands on top of the table, unzips his fly, and pees all over the food. obviously his family is upset, and his dad utters one of the greatest lines in cinematic history:
"Do you see this writing...? Do you know what it means...? Hospitality. And you can't piss on hospitality! I WON'T ALLOW IT!"
besides that, there's an incredible amount of horrible writing in this movie, which makes it very entertaining, to say the least.
You want to hear of a bad movie? Try Halloween 3 Season of the Witch. It's a Halloween movie so it must be entertaining right? WRONG! But it must have Micheal Myers in it right? WRONG! Ok well I'm sure its at least scary. WRONG! Is the acting good? NO! Is the story good NO!
I saw this movie on TV yesterday and I would not recomended it to anybody.The first problem is that its a Halloween sequel but doesn't have Micheal Myers in it so truthfully its not a sequel which means the title is wrong. You want to hear the story outline. Halloween masks that on Halloween night will destroy the wearers head causing snakes and insects to spew out. The acting is dreadful the, visuals are appauling, and everything about just makes me want to puke all over your head. This is definetely one for the books. I'd say that it's got my vote for the worst horror movie of all time.
Frightened Inmate #2 wrote:Give me my money back, you...
To the best of my recollection, here is a list of the Top 5 worst movies that I actually paid to see in the movie theater:
1. Amityville 3-D
2. Quigley Down Under
4. April Fools' Day
5. Legend (starring Tom Cruise)
Oh, and I even saw "Ishtar" in the movie theater. Call me weird, but I love that movie!
And between 1985-1991 I saw "Rocky Horror" about 20 times. I still can't tell if its a truly bad movie or not, but its a blast!
I ate all your bees wrote:Tom Cruise related awfulness: I remember trying to explain Far & Away to a friend. She still won't believe that it actually exists. Oh, God, the accents hurt me.
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