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Orange County, California

Narrator: This is Michael Bluth.

Michael Bluth, Manager / Bluth Company

Narrator: For ten years he’s worked for his father’s company waiting to be made a partner. And right now he’s happy. This is Michael’s mother.

Lucille: Look what they’ve done, Michael!

Mrs. Lucille Bluth, Socialite

Narrator: She isn’t happy.

Narrator: Currently she’s upset that her husband’s retirement party is being upstaged by a group of gay protesters.

Protesters: (Chanting.) We’re here, we’re queer! We want to get married on the ocean!

Lindsay Bluth Fünke, Activist

Narrator: This is Michael’s twin sister, Lindsay.

Lucille: I like it better on him.

Narrator: As a youthful act of defiance, Lindsay married this man—

Dr. Tobias Fünke (not on boat)

Narrator: They moved to Boston where they’ve become celebrated for their wine and cheese fund-raisers.

Narrator: Michael and his sister haven’t spoken in a year. Neither has acknowledged this.

And this is G.O.B., Michael’s oldest brother.

G.O.B., George Oscar Bluth II, Magician (part-time)

Narrator: G.O.B. recently started the Alliance of Magicians, an organization that blackballs any performer who reveals a magician’s secret.

Narrator: And finally, there’s Buster...

Michael: Hey, Buster.

Narrator: ...the youngest of Michael’s siblings.

Michael: You know, you don’t need to do that, buddy. It’s okay.

Byron “Buster” Bluth, Graduate Student

Michael: Right.

Buster: But there’s still... you know...

Narrator: He also suffers from crippling panic attacks. Yes, this is his family. So, why is Michael so happy? Because he’s decided to never speak to these people again.

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Narrator: Michael was feeling more generous about his family on the morning of the boat party.