Episode Transcript
Written by Mitchell Hurwitz and John Levenstein.
Lindsay: It shoots tomorrow, and are you ready for this? It pays 1,000 bucks!
Michael: I thought that was Tobias’ part.
Tobias: Yeah, no, no, I did not book this one. I, uh... think I made the fire too real, uh, for them, and, uh, and probably failed to highlight the sale, so, good for her, and, uh... will you excuse me, please?
Michael: Well, listen, that’s great, Lindsay. But, I’ve got my own problems. The flight records, they’ve burned up, okay? That’s fine. That’s over with. But I think Dad is behind it. I think Dad is trying to run the business from prison.
Lindsay: Well, isn’t that ironic? I’m making a fortune at my new job, and you don’t even have the job you thought you did.
Michael: But, but you don’t have a job. You’ve got a job offer. Anybody can get a job offer.
Michael: So, I’m going to go see Dad, because this is my business to run now.
G.O.B.: Your business?
Michael: Hey, there you are, G.O.B.! I have been looking all over for you. I could really use some help.
G.O.B.: Well, I was going to return this dove. What? You want me to run a meeting for you or something?
Michael: Or, even better, could you mail this letter for me?
G.O.B.: You can’t just give that to a mailman?
Michael: I can’t trust a mailman with this. This is important.
Narrator: G.O.B. was intrigued. He also suspected he couldn’t return a completely frozen dove to a pet store and get the full refund he felt he was entitled to.
G.O.B.: I’ll mail that letter.
Narrator: Michael then went to confront his father.
Michael: You’re not going to keep running this company from in here, okay? That’s why you wanted me to give T-Bone a job, to pay him back for burning down the storage unit?
George, Sr.: Michael, that’s ridiculous.
Michael: Yeah, well, I’m not hiring him. No, we don’t have the money, Pop.
George, Sr.: There’s always money in the banana stand.
Michael: The banana stand... you know, that’s exactly what this feels like. Huh? Like I’m still stuck in that hot booth all summer with you pulling the strings.
George, Sr.: What was I going to do? Put a kid in charge of a frozen banana stand?
Michael: Sure, that’s what I did. I just made my son the manager.
George, Sr.: George Michael is running the frozen banana stand now?
Michael: Yeah, that’s right, yeah. You sit with that, you think about that for a while.
Narrator: George, Sr. did think about that.
Maeby: Well, now that we’ve got an employee, we can go have dinner. We throw away a banana for every buck we take so no one finds out.
T-Bone: Wait a minute, I think you should do that math again.
George Michael: Why? Is it wrong?
Maeby: It’s fine. He’s an arsonist, not an embezzler.
Narrator: Meanwhile, Michael got urgent call from his mother.
Lucille: G.O.B. is unhappy.
Michael: Again? I tried to include him, I gave him a job.
Lucille: You gave him a letter to mail.
Michael: And don’t tell me that was too much for him?
Lucille: No, Michael, he mailed the letter. That’s not the point.
Narrator: G.O.B. had not mailed the letter, but in and act of defiance, dramatically hurled the letter into the sea. This proved a more difficult dramatic gesture than he’d anticipated.
Michael: So what do you want me to do about it?
Lucille: Don’t take that tone. He’s my son. I want you to make him stop calling me.
Tobias: Excuse me...
