Episode Transcript
Written by Mitchell Hurwitz and Richard Rosenstock.
Maeby: But... he’s always going to be at football practice, so I’m going to have to kiss the stand-in.
George Michael: But no... no. I love the theater, and I gave my word, so I’m back in.
Narrator: Tobias, meanwhile, stopped by the school.
Tobias: (Whispers.) I know why you’re doing this.
Maeby: Dad! What are you doing here? Go away.
Tobias: Yes, because the director might be here soon, right? Oops, too late. He’s already here. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the theater. I am Dr. Tobias Fünke, and I will be your new... director.
Maeby: Oh... my God.
Narrator: Tobias had gotten the directing job by meeting with the school principal.
Tobias: And you tell me you’ve got some P.E. teacher directing? That just makes me want to puke all over your head, sir. Give me a chance to tell the Bard’s tale, and I give you my word on humble knee, whence you shall not say it wasn’t e’er to be.
Administrator: Jerry, you cool with this?
Coach Jerry: Sure, let the little fruit do it.
Tobias: Huzzah!
Narrator: As the days went by, Buster’s apprenticeship was proving more trying than Michael had anticipated.
Michael: We’re excited. We want your business.
Michael: And, uh, everybody at the Bluth Company is committed...
Buster: Here I go again.
Narrator: And just when he could take no more...
Buster: And besides, this is going to be the most bitchin’ly fast bike in all of Orange County.
Michael: Really?
Buster: Your son is gonna love it.
Michael: Well, I guess 3:40 is as good a time as any to call it a day.
Narrator: So, Michael left for the high school, hoping to reconnect with his son, while Tobias’ attempts to reconnect with his daughter hit a snag.
George Michael: I will stop your mouth.
Tobias: Stop! Stop it! It’s all wrong.
George Michael: But we were just about to do the kiss.
Tobias: Kiss— I know. It doesn’t work.
Tobias: Would you hold the work, please?! Oh, Michael.
George Michael: Dad, what...?
Michael: So, you’re in a play, huh?
Maeby: I’m not. I quit.
Tobias: Maeby...
