Episode Transcript
Written by Richard Rosenstock and John Levenstein.
George Michael: I hope you can handle it.
Narrator: Michael arrived home in a good mood.
CC, unheard: He knew that...
Narrator: With G.O.B. getting the information from Kitty, he would no longer have to visit prison and deal with his father.
Michael: Hey, Buddy? I came home early. Wanna do something? Anything, anything at all.
George Michael: I want to visit Pop-Pop in prison.
Narrator: Back at the office, G.O.B. was making progress with Michael’s assistant.
Kitty: Here’s where we keep all of our heavyweight paper.
G.O.B.: I bet you can show me where a lot of things are.
Kitty: What kind of things are you looking for?
G.O.B.: What... what are you hiding?
Kitty: Nothing you can’t find.
G.O.B.: Wait a second... wait, wait, wait. Take off your glasses. Oh... wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let’s just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
G.O.B.: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How’s that? Is that better?
G.O.B.: It just seems like there’s still light coming in from under the door.
Narrator: And Lindsay and Tobias were, for the first time, addressing their marital problems.
Lindsay: Stop it. I am so sick of hearing about acting, acting, acting.
Dr. Gunty: Okay, okay, look—maybe we need a new approach. Um... let’s try some role-playing.
Tobias: (Clapping.) Yes! All right!
Narrator: Michael headed back to the prison, despite his earlier vow never to return.
George Michael: You always say, “family first.” I should see my grandpa, right?
Michael: Listen, I’m not stopping you, but just after this, I’m not going back out there.
George Michael: Why? Is it scary?
Michael: Scary? No. No, it’s the opposite of scary. It’s like a carnival. Without the half person on the skateboard that grabbed your knee to steady himself. It’s like a country club—all the guy does is eat ice cream and play softball all day.
Narrator: In fact, George, Sr.’s softball game had taken most of the day. It was the 14th inning and tensions were running a little high.
George, Sr.: I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you call the next one a strike. My knees are killing me. Okay, no batter.
Umpire/Guard: Strike three.
Batter: Strike three, my ass.
George, Sr.: Oh...
George, Sr.: No batter, no. No batter. Shh...
Michael: Okay, there he is. Now, go on in there and surprise him. I’m going to get us a few ice cream sandwiches. Go on... go on.
George Michael: Hey, Pop-Pop. How’s prison?
George, Sr.: I’m gonna die in here.
George Michael: What?
George, Sr.: They’re gonna kill Grandpa. I gotta... I gotta get out of here. I’m an innocent man. You’ve got to help Pop-Pop get out of here. Give me your hair. Give me your hair!
Guard: Hey, no touching! No touching.
George, Sr.: Give me the hair.
Michael: One of these got smushed, but don’t let that ruin prison for you.
