Written by Abraham Higginbotham.
Narrator: Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s... Arrested Development.
Narrator: Michael Bluth had called a meeting with the family’s long-time attorney to discuss his father’s incarceration.
Barry: I am so sorry. It was a client. Okay...
Narrator: But he was finding it difficult to get any answers.
Barry: How long was I on the phone?
Michael: 25 minutes.
Barry: Well, you know, with the cell phone charges, I could have rounded it out to about an hour, ’cause it’s easier to bill. All right. Anything else to go over?
Michael: We’ve got everything else to go over. We haven’t done anything to get my dad out of jail.
Barry: Okay, first of all... What are you doing? Pilates? Because no 40-year-old woman should look like that.
Michael: Well, no 40-year-old woman does look like that.
Narrator: He was, however, getting along with his sister, which was unwelcome news to their mother who feared this unity might be used against her.
Barry: I do have some big news. It’s going to cost you a little money— $20,000, something like that. The courts have agreed to let your father... out of prison.
Lucille: This is a lawyer.
Buster: He’s a master.
Barry: For the entire afternoon.
Michael: What-what do you mean, “afternoon”? What afternoon?
Barry: The day before Christmas. In time for the Living Classics Pageant, because I know how important that is to all of you.
Narrator: The Living Classics Pageant, an Orange County tradition, consists of live representations of classic works of art. The Bluth family has participated, not only as a patron but as an integral part of its most popular exhibit: Michelangelo’s The Creation of Adam.
Buster: I don’t really want to be Adam this year.
Barry: Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos. That was wrong. I-I am so sorry. It’s just that I have one down at the office now, and I mean it is every day.
Tobias: I would be happy to play Adam. Uh, I’d prefer a speaking part...
Lindsay: Please don’t speak for the rest of the meeting.
Buster: No, no, seriously, I don’t want to play Adam.
Lucille: Buster, every year we go through this song and dance, and every year you say, “Thank you, Mama, for making me play Adam.” You’re doing it.
Narrator: This concerned Buster, as he’d been secretly dating his mother’s best friend and chief social rival, Lucille Austero.
Buster: Can’t we just stay here and play poker again? You can bet your vertigo medicine against my anxiety pills.
Lucille 2: No! Buster, for God’s sake, there’s music to hear, places to go, envy to stir! Look, I’m tired of keeping our love a secret. We are going out, and that is that! Oh, Buster. Okay, I’m okay. I’m okay!
Barry: Okay, I’m going to get out of your hair. We’ll talk about this money later in the week.
Michael: Excuse me, but we’re not going to pay $20,000 to get my dad out for one day.
Barry: No, no, it’s a bond. It’s all refundable. Unlike my time.
Michael: It’s been a complete waste of two hours, okay? We’re just not going to do it, and that’s that. What do you doing? Are you writing two hours?
Barry: No, I’m taking notes. I’m taking notes on the case.
Michael: Let me see that. Let me just see that.
Barry: You’re scaring me. You know what? Just leave it alone!
Michael: Let me just see what you wrote.
Barry: Leave it alone! It is a gift from a client!
Lucille: Barry’s very good.
Lindsay: He’s an idiot.