Written by Abraham Higginbotham.
Michael: We’re not trying to get Dad out for a night. We’re trying to get him out for good. And we’re going to get a new lawyer. I actually know of one who’s available. His name’s Wayne Jarvis. He’s a top guy.
Narrator: Wayne Jarvis had become famous after an employment discrimination suit against the family’s current attorney, Barry Zuckerkorn.
James Alan Spangler: It’ll be a long time before Barry Zuckerkorn calls anyone a “homo” again.
Lucille: You know, I am really happy that you two are in agreement, but we’re not getting rid of Barry. He’s like family, and you can’t fire family.
Michael: Yeah, I know. Hey, Maeby.
Lindsay: Maeby, where have you been?
Maeby: You left me at home. You do remember you have a daughter, right?
Tobias: Uh, yes, uh, of course we remember, and we were worried sick, young lady. She’s fine. Our daughter is all right.
Tobias: (Quietly.) Sorry. You said you didn’t want her to come.
Lindsay: I said I didn’t want you to come.
Tobias: Oh, that makes more sense.
Lindsay: Now she’s going to think we’re totally self-involved.
Tobias: I-I can fix this. Buster’s probably still in the lobby. Let me go see if I can’t get him to give me the part of Adam.
Lindsay: Okay, and I’ll see if I can get some money from my mom.
Lucille: Lupe, there are some juice glasses on the sofa table.
Lindsay: Oh, Mama, I’ll help you clean up. (To Lupe.) There are some salad plates on the piano.
Lindsay: Well, what a party. Mom, you make it seem so effortless.
Lucille: What do you need money for? A divorce?
Lindsay: No, Mom. Tobias and I are doing fine, thank you. It’s my credit card debt.
Lucille: Forget it.
Lindsay: Fine. I’ll ask Michael. He’ll give it to me.
Lucille: Well, maybe if you get him drunk. It’s the only way he’ll give money to someone who calls his “stay-in-bed-mom...”
Lindsay: He said that about me?
Lucille: I know it was harsh, but, you know, he thinks you’re completely irresponsible. A stay-in-bed mom. Probably because you don’t work, and you’re lazy. Oh... his words.
Lindsay: I don’t believe him.
Lucille: I know! Just when you were getting along so well.
Maeby: They’ve got to be kidding me.
Narrator: Michael’s brother, G.O.B., meanwhile, had missed the meeting that morning after being delayed by his girlfriend, Marta.
Narrator: And while G.O.B. took his girlfriend for granted, Michael was learning Spanish to get closer to her.
Tape: That is not something I can bring to my boss.
Narrator: Unfortunately, the one tape he could find was of little use to him.
Tape: Are you going to the complimentary breakfast?
Michael: That’ll get her hot.
G.O.B.: Well, if it isn’t the boy who lives under the stairs.
Michael: Hey, G.O.B.
G.O.B.: What are you doing? Learning Spanish?