Episode Transcript
Written by Abraham Higginbotham.
Michael: Nope. It’s s... it’s something for work, so, yes, uh, yeah..
Narrator: Meanwhile, Buster was trying to get George Michael to take his place as Adam.
George Michael: I don’t know, Uncle Buster.
Buster: But you don’t have the frontispiece yet?
George Michael: Frontispiece?
Buster: Look, I don’t want to go through a whole song and dance with you. You’re going to love it. Y-You just can’t do anything that violates the original painting, like giggling or itching. They do allow some nervous crying, but you can tell they don’t like it.
Narrator: And Maeby was teaching her parents a lesson for forgetting her...
Maeby: Who knows how long I’ll be gone?
Narrator: ...when she spotted George Michael.
Maeby: Nice pecs. Got a kickin’ bod.
Narrator: Thus George Michael found a compelling reason to keep the muscle suit on.
James Alan Spangler: The law offices of Barry Zuckerkorn.
Michael: Yeah, it’s Michael Bluth for Barry.
Barry: (Whispering.) I’m not here.
James Alan Spangler: Uh, Barry’s not here. Can I give her a message?
Michael: Yeah. Tell me she needs to whisper a little softer next time. And I’m not paying for this phone call.
Barry: I am not a girl, you...
James Alan Spangler: Go on. Call me something. I’m redoing my kitchen.
Michael: That’s it! I’ve had it with this jerk Barry. I’m going to make Mom sit down with Wayne whether she likes it or not.
Lindsay: You’re the jerk.
Michael: Did I just wake you up? I didn’t even know you were home.
Lindsay: No, Michael, I don’t just sleep all day.
Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.
Maeby: Yeah, this suitcase should be big enough.
Michael: Where is all this coming from? I thought we were getting along.
Lindsay: Yeah, well, then why would she say it?
Michael: Because we’re getting along.
Lindsay: ’Cause we’re friends again.
Michael: You gotta remember, Mom typically has nothing in her system except a bottle of vodka and an estrogen pill.
Lindsay: Speaking of which...
Narrator: Michael and Lindsay proceeded to drink and air their grievances about their mother.
Lindsay: She’s always trying to get me to admit that my marriage isn’t working.
Michael: So, how’s it going with you and Tobias?
Lindsay: It’s not working. And it’s why I wanted her help with my credit card debt. I’m trying to take at least some of the pressure off this marriage. And if anything, it’s worse, now we’re sharing a bedroom.
Michael: You guys were not sharing a bedroom before?
Lindsay: Well, the cutoffs weren’t exactly a turn-on.
Michael: (Whispering.) Yeah, what’s the deal with the cutoffs?
Lindsay: You’ve got to promise not to tell anyone this.
Michael: Okay.
Narrator: Tobias suffered a rare psychological affliction of never being able to be completely naked, even when alone.
