Episode Transcript
Written by Abraham Higginbotham.
Tobias: Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?
Doctor #1: Oh, I’m sorry. No, I need you to be completely undressed.
Tobias: I am completely undressed.
Michael: I thought he just liked cutoffs.
Lindsay: Me, too.
Lindsay: What about you? What-what’s going on with your love life? I mean, have you even met anyone since your wife?
Michael: That is the one subject I am not eager to talk about, Lindsay.
Lindsay: Oh my God.
Michael: Yeah.
Lindsay: Listen, you’re a great guy, and if she doesn’t see that, then someone else will.
Michael: You know what else, Lindsay? You’re great. And I’m going to move some money around. If it’s going to help you get out of debt. You know, I’d be happy to do that.
Lindsay: No, Michael...
Michael: Yeah! The hell with Mom, and here. Mom’s never going to get between us again.
Lindsay: Yeah.
Narrator: The next day, Buster, having pawned off playing Adam, went to Lucille 2 to ask her out for Christmas Eve.
Lucille 2: That is terrific! ’Cause I got two tickets to the pageant.
Buster: Mm! My-my mother’s going to be there.
Narrator: And George Michael was trying to pass as a more muscular boy than he actually was.
George Michael: 100.
Maeby: 100? I had you at ten.
George Michael: I did some earlier in the day. It’s a running total.
George Michael: So, wh-what’s with the suitcase?
Maeby: It’s a little test to get my parents to notice me.
Maeby: You ever get the feeling like no one even sees you?
George Michael: I’ve got a really good body, so... no.
Tobias: Hey, gang, whatcha doing?
Maeby: Just packing up. Packing it on up.
Tobias: Uh-huh. Listen, uh, can I talk to you alone for a moment?
George Michael: Oh, yeah, I’ll-I’ll leave you two alone here.
Tobias: Oh, no, George Michael, I meant you.
George Michael: You know what? I’d be happy to let you play Adam if...
Tobias: Oh, give me the suit. Give me the suit.
George Michael: I’m actually wearing it right now, but I can’t tell you why.
Tobias: You’re wearing it right now?
George Michael: I have to wear it all the time. You... you’d never understand.
Tobias: Oh, please, I’ll never un...? I’ll never understand? That you can never be nude? I understand more than you’ll... never know.
George Michael: Yikes.
