Episode Transcript
Written by Abraham Higginbotham.
Monti: You know, I saw you do this when I was kid. I was so impressed, you know. You were so still and god-like. You know, it was at that moment that I knew I would be a dancer.
George, Sr.: Glad I could make a difference.
Narrator: Michael and Lindsay searched the crowd for their mother and Barry so they could revel in the public shaming they had engineered.
Michael: Mom, what the hell are you doing?
Narrator: But instead, they found her with Wayne.
Lucille: I don’t have to answer that.
Michael: I don’t know which one of you I’m more disappointed in. No, it’s Wayne. Wayne...!
Wayne Jarvis: I have needs. I am a man!
Michael: Hey, watch...
Lucille: What’s the difference? Your father doesn’t care about me. Barry tells me he’s not even trying to get out of prison.
Lindsay: Mom, he’s here. Dad’s here.
Lucille: He’s here?
Lindsay: Yeah, he’s here.
Lucille: Why did you do this?
Lindsay: We were trying to teach you a lesson.
Lucille: You idiots. If he sees me with Wayne...
Michael: We’ll be stuck with Barry.
Wayne Jarvis: I shall duck behind that little garbage car.
Michael: Guy’s a pro.
Announcer: And now, ladies and gentlemen, Michelangelo’s The Creation of Adam.
Narrator: And George Michael made his debut...
Michael: Hey, that’s my... Yikes.
Narrator: ...breaking the pageant’s cardinal rule.
Man in Audience #1: How dare he!
Tobias: Oh, stop booing. There’s nothing wrong with it. There are dozens of us. Dozens!
Narrator: Buster arrived with Lucille Austero and naturally assumed the yells of disgust were directed toward him.
Lucille 2: Buster, what is wrong with you?
Buster: What’s wrong with you?!
Lucille: Buster?
Buster: Oh, God. (Stammering.) I’m sorry, Lucille. (Moans.) Yeah, Lucille. Mom. I’m sorry!
Lucille 2: Man! That old lady has really done a number on you, hasn’t she?
Narrator: But George Michael wasn’t the only problem with the painting.
Woman in Audience #1: Where is God?
Woman in Audience #2: There is no God!
Lindsay: (Scoffs.) There goes my credit card payment.
Michael: Dad?! Dad! D...! Dad!
George, Sr.: Excuse me.
Michael: Dad! Hey, Dad, get back here!
