Written by Chuck Martin.
Lindsay: It would be pandemonium.
Lindsay: It would just give Dad one more reason to think that I’ve got nothing to offer but my looks.
G.O.B.: Yeah, I got some of that. Except he also didn’t like my looks.
Lindsay: Okay, Michael, I will go visit Dad, if you drive Mom to the restaurant for the surprise party.
Michael: I’ll just pretend that I’m taking her out that evening. Come on. That would never happen.
Lindsay: Well, she certainly can’t drive herself. I mean, she’s the world’s worst driver.
Narrator: Lindsay was not exaggerating. Lucille had recently been featured on FOX’s World’s Worst Drivers.
Michael: I can’t believe she got that driver’s license renewed.
G.O.B.: She didn’t. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work, though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking “albino” in the form.
Lindsay: Come on, Michael. Who knows how long our parents are going to be around?
Michael: Yeah, well, I got to tell you. I was over at her place today and she looked a little frail to me. She was having trouble even lifting up this bag of groceries. All right, we will do the surprise party.
Maeby: For Gangee?
Michael: Yeah, how did you know?
George Michael: She called and invited us.
Lindsay: Okay, so it was her idea.
Maeby: But we don’t have to go, do we?
Michael: Come on, this is a Bluth family celebration. It’s no place for children.
Narrator: And Lindsay went to the prison to visit her father for the first time. But didn’t get the reception she was expecting.
George, Sr.: I want to thank you for coming today. It took a lot of guts.
Lindsay: The reason I’m here today is because I felt that I needed to say something.
George, Sr.: Oh, okay.
Lindsay: My whole life, all you’ve ever praised me for is my looks.
George, Sr.: Oh, no, your looks...
Lindsay: Yes, Dad.
Lindsay: I mean, it’s always been “Michael’s got the brains, G.O.B.’s got the charm, Buster’s got the...”
George, Sr.: High-fastening pants.
Lindsay: You said that?
George, Sr.: No, I’m saying that now.
Lindsay: So, anyway, look. If you’re wondering why I haven’t visited, maybe it’s because I wanted to be thought of as more than just a beautiful face. And a gorgeous head of hair.
Narrator: Lindsay was surprised, once again, that no heads were turned.
Lindsay: I’m going to go shopping. I’ll be back tomorrow.
Narrator: George Michael was finally moving beyond his crush on Maeby, and felt happy to have a cousin he could just see a movie with.
George Michael: We have got to see this movie.
Usher: Excuse me, kids. Can I see your IDs?
Narrator: And Michael was driving his mother to her surprise party.
Lucille: Where are earth are we going? Left at the next corner.
Lucille: You know, Michael...
Lucille: I’d be happy to drive if you want me to. It’s better than sitting here with Buster’s stupid rock behind me.
#1 hollyhox wrote on June 13, 2006:
OK, if GOB dummied Lucille a new driver’s license, how come he had to check albino on the form? Presumably, there was no form, since the whole point of making a fake license is to "cirsumvrent" the DMV.
#2 hollyhox wrote on June 13, 2006:
Oh, another thing I was wondering about: George Michael and Maeby are watching a preview for Les Cousins, not the actual movie, so I wonder why they were thrown out.