Episode Transcript
Written by Chuck Martin.
Narrator: Under the pretense of driving his mother somewhere else, Michael once again arrived at the restaurant.
Lucille: Oh, Michael, did you do this again?
Michael: Surprise!
Narrator: And once again, no one showed up.
Lucille: I told you. They don’t support me.
Michael: Well, I hate to tell you, Mom, but they don’t support me either. You know, I sat down and I told them this was important to me.
Lucille: You did that for me?
Michael: I let you drive, didn’t I?
Lucille: Yes, you did, Michael. And I’m loving it. You’re a good son. You always do things for others. You’re the only one holding this family together.
Michael: And you see a lot more than I give you credit for, Mom. You’re not just concerned with yourself. You care about the family. Hey, is that G.O.B.?
Lucille: It’s an idiot on a scooter at night. It’s got to be G.O.B.
Lucille: Let’s give him a scare.
Michael: Hmm? No, Mom, I don’t think we should.
Lucille: A nice little scare. What are you doing? Hey, big shot! Too busy to go to your mother’s party?!
Michael: Mom, that is not G.O.B. Mom! Mom!
Tires screeching. Crashing. Sirens blaring.
Paramedic: You okay, sir?
Michael: I... Yeah, I guess. How’s my mom? She’s so frail.
Lucille: I’m fine. I’m fine. I was thrown clear. I only care about you.
Lucille: How are you feeling?
Michael: Actually, my head does not hurt at all.
Michael: What did you give me?
Dr. Miller: Your mother asked me to pump you full of...
Lucille: Children’s aspirin.
Dr. Miller: Okay.
Michael: You know, it’s funny. I remember, um, leaving the restaurant, and then, uh, I was driving, I guess, but I just, I cannot picture it.
Dr. Miller: That’s pretty common, actually. It’s just short-term memory loss from the bump on the back of your head.
Michael: I can’t believe I did this. My insurance rates are going to go through the roof.
Lucille: That’s not what matters now. Here. Get comfortable. Scoot up.
Michael: Scoot. Scooter— was there a scooter involved in...?
Lucille: (Gasping.) I can’t believe I did that. I am so sorry. I’ll get you some air.
Michael: I hardly felt it. In fact, actually, uh, I didn’t feel it.
Michael: What was that?
Lucille 2: Buster, do you remember when we were kissing last night?
Buster: It was a wild, wild ride. But is this something we can do? Is this something society will allow?
Lucille 2: I don’t care what other people think. My God, for the first time in years, I felt like I was standing on solid ground.
Buster: You know, my panic attacks have decreased. I feel confident. I’m feeling proud even.
