Episode Transcript
Written by Chuck Martin.
Buster: It was worth it to be away from Mom’s controlling grasp.
Michael: G.O.B. was there. G.O.B. was on his scooter... (Gasping.) I think I wanted to hit G.O.B.
Lucille: Yes! That is exactly what happened. You wanted to give G.O.B. a scare. I don’t know why.
Michael: I think I do. Thanks, Mom.
Narrator: George, Sr. was once again being visited by his daughter.
George, Sr.: That’s it. I don’t want... You can’t... I don’t, I, uh, please, you got to stop, uh, coming here.
Lindsay: It is obvious I’m not wearing a bra, right?
George, Sr.: I can’t take this anymore. I, um, uh, I-I’m paying far too big a price for this.
Lindsay: Well, what about me? I mean, this is the third time I’ve come here. I haven’t even been remotely harassed.
George, Sr.: That is not what you I’m paying for.
Lindsay: Have I lost it? Did I ever even have it?
George, Sr.: I’m paying thousands of dollars in Krugerrands.
Lindsay: What?
George, Sr.: Gold Krugerrands. Your mother snuck them in here, stuffed them in energy bar wrappers to keep me from getting strangled in the shower or worse.
Lindsay: Stabbed?
George, Sr.: In a way.
George, Sr.: I use them to pay off the other guys to stop them from hollering obscenities at my... my little girl. But you keep coming back here, honey, and I’m going broke.
Lindsay: That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you, Daddy— for you to spend money on me.
Guard: No touching!
Michael: G.O.B., I want you to move back onto the yacht.
G.O.B.: The yacht?
Michael: What makes you think I’d want to now? Well, I know that you’ve been looking for...
Michael: What was that?
G.O.B.: I think that was on your end.
Michael: The truth is, I can wait on selling the yacht. It’s just money, right?
G.O.B.: Wow. How hard did you hit that steering wheel?
Michael: I actually hit the back of my head.
G.O.B.: The back of your head?
Michael: Yeah. G.O.B., the accident only happened because I was trying to scare you. Maybe even hurt you.
G.O.B.: That doesn’t sound like you. It sounds like Mom.
Michael: Can we please just lay off Mom for a change? I mean, she’s the one that helped me remember what happened, and trust me, I’m the bad guy here, not her, and definitely not you, so... would you please just take the yacht?
G.O.B.: I’ll think about it. South America sounds good. But a chance to expose Mom...
G.O.B.: Turn this skiff around.
Captain #2: We haven’t even left the dock.
G.O.B.: But “skiff” is appropriate, right?
Narrator: G.O.B. rushed to shore to spare his brother from what he was certain were his mother’s machinations.
Michael: What are you doing?
