Written by Chuck Martin.
G.O.B.: You’ve been set up.
G.O.B.: There’s no way that you were trying to hurt me. You don’t hate me. Mom hates me. You kind of like me.
Michael: Yeah, I kind of like you.
Lucille: Michael, stop kidding around!
Michael: Coming. Ow! I got hit back there.
G.O.B.: Right— on the back of the head, which means that you couldn’t have hit the steering wheel. Mom must have clubbed you with a champagne bottle or something, so she could drive.
Lindsay: G.O.B., how did you figure that out?
Michael: No, no, he didn’t figure anything out. I probably got hit on the back of the head because of Buster’s rock.
Lucille: Hey, big shot!
Michael: Which was behind the passenger seat.
G.O.B.: Which means that she picked you up and dragged you over to the driver’s seat.
Michael: Mom can’t pick me up. She could barely pick up that bag of protein bars.
Lindsay: Guess what? They weren’t protein bars. They were gold Krugerrands, and Dad finally paid attention to my intellect.
Michael: G.O.B., this is nuts. Mother is frail.
Lucille: Stop this nonsense this instant!
G.O.B.: You set him up, Mom.
G.O.B.: I was halfway to South America, but I couldn’t let you get away with it, because we’re brothers, Mom, and we kind of like each other.
Michael: You were going to South America?
G.O.B.: I don’t think so.
Michael: Mom, you and I were getting along so well. I was thinking so highly of you. How could you make me think this was all my fault?
Lucille: Because if you knew it was my fault, you would have turned against me, and I had finally gotten you on my side. You were sticking up for me. I don’t even remember you ever doing that before. I just want my children to love me.
Michael: Stop lying. Stop manipulating. Just be nicer.
Lucille: What...? All right. I’m a horrible mother.
Lindsay: No, no, Ma, you’re great.
Michael: That’s crazy talk.
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, George Michael and Maeby sneak back into Les cousins dangereux...
Usher: Excuse me. You’re too young to be holding that ticket.
George Michael: Let’s go. I can’t go to jail.
Maeby: Let’s just watch cartoons.
Usher: Sir, we will not be starting with Les cousins until you leave.
Lucille 2: Excuse me, but I thought my AARP card was good for one and a guest.
Buster: Hey, you know what? I knew that society would never accept this, and they never will.
Narrator: ... and Michael’s insurance takes another hit.
Michael: I was definitely driving that time.