Michael: I sure will, Marta.

Marta: If you remember.

Michael: I will remember. Yeah. I’ll give him the message though. Okay.

Lindsay: She’s gone.

Michael: Yep. Got it.

Lindsay: You are too nice.

Michael: Oh, come on, what was I supposed to do, tell her that G.O.B. is not staying here? Tell her that G.O.B. is screwing around on her, God knows where he is? Actually, that-that sounded okay.

Lindsay: Nah, you’ll never be able to do it. You’re too good. You’re the-the noble one. The one who never wins.

Michael: I don’t know about that.

Lindsay: The loser.

Michael: Hmm?

Lindsay: The fool.

Maeby: She is such a hypocrite. Doesn’t it drive you nuts?

George Michael: Crazy. Wait, who is? Which...?

Maeby: My mom. She pretends to care about all these causes.

Narrator: Lindsay had always been celebrated for her wine and cheese charity fund-raisers.

1993 anti-cattle ranching campaign. “No more meat.”

1995 anti-fish farming commission. “No more fish.”

1998 committee to improve school lunches. “More meat and fish!”

Maeby: I mean, now she’s anti-leather? Let’s see how she feels when her daughter’s pro-leather. You want to go shopping with me? Bet you can get something cool.

Narrator: In fact, George Michael had been trying to prove to Maeby that he was macho after an embarrassing brush with her.

Maeby: Your legs look exactly like mine, and I just shaved mine.

George Michael: So, I’m thinking of getting a motorcycle.

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Tobias: There’s my little girl. I’ve got great news. Daddy has the entire day off.

Maeby: But you have every day off— you don’t have a job.

Tobias: Well, I don’t need money to hang out with my daughter. Where are you going?

Maeby: We’re going shopping.

Tobias: Oh, no, no, I can’t do that.

Narrator: The next day, Michael was stopped on his way to work.

Horn honks.

Rollo: Get in.

Michael: What?

Rollo: G.O.B.

Michael rides away.

Rollo: Let me be clear. Tell him Rollo wants him to say good-bye to his legs.

Window squeaking.

Narrator: Michael went looking for G.O.B.

Lucille: I’m so glad you’re here. I want you to help me break up your brother and his girlfriend.