Written by Brad Copeland.
Michael: I sure will, Marta.
Marta: If you remember.
Michael: I will remember. Yeah. I’ll give him the message though. Okay.
Lindsay: She’s gone.
Michael: Yep. Got it.
Lindsay: You are too nice.
Michael: Oh, come on, what was I supposed to do, tell her that G.O.B. is not staying here? Tell her that G.O.B. is screwing around on her, God knows where he is? Actually, that-that sounded okay.
Lindsay: Nah, you’ll never be able to do it. You’re too good. You’re the-the noble one. The one who never wins.
Michael: I don’t know about that.
Lindsay: The loser.
Lindsay: The fool.
Maeby: She is such a hypocrite. Doesn’t it drive you nuts?
George Michael: Crazy. Wait, who is? Which...?
Maeby: My mom. She pretends to care about all these causes.
Narrator: Lindsay had always been celebrated for her wine and cheese charity fund-raisers.
Maeby: I mean, now she’s anti-leather? Let’s see how she feels when her daughter’s pro-leather. You want to go shopping with me? Bet you can get something cool.
Narrator: In fact, George Michael had been trying to prove to Maeby that he was macho after an embarrassing brush with her.
Maeby: Your legs look exactly like mine, and I just shaved mine.
George Michael: So, I’m thinking of getting a motorcycle.
George Michael: Yeah, I’m gonna need a leather jacket for when I’m on my hog and need to go into a controlled slide.
Tobias: There’s my little girl. I’ve got great news. Daddy has the entire day off.
Maeby: But you have every day off— you don’t have a job.
Tobias: Well, I don’t need money to hang out with my daughter. Where are you going?
Maeby: We’re going shopping.
Tobias: Oh, no, no, I can’t do that.
Narrator: The next day, Michael was stopped on his way to work.
Rollo: Get in.
Rollo: Let me be clear. Tell him Rollo wants him to say good-bye to his legs.
Narrator: Michael went looking for G.O.B.
Lucille: I’m so glad you’re here. I want you to help me break up your brother and his girlfriend.