Written by Brad Copeland.
Narrator: In fact, Tobias had intended to come, but had a slight miscommunication with his cab driver...
Cab Driver: (Cockney accent.) Where to, mate?
Tobias: The Gothic Castle.
Cab Driver: Gothic Asshole?
Tobias: That’s what I said.
Narrator: ... and ended up at the wrong location.
Tobias: Well, I am glad I didn’t go with that outfit. Yes, hello. I am looking for the magic. Danke schon.
Man with Freedom sign leaves bar.
Lucille 2: Oh, hello, Lucille.
Lucille: Hello, Lucille. Having a good time with my son?
Lucille 2: Actually, we’re having a wonderful time.
Lucille: You know, he’s damaged goods. He was born with a hole in his heart.
Lucille 2: Listen to me, Lucille, I’m going to fill that hole, ’cause we’re in love.
Lucille: Oh, please. You’re no more in love with him than I am.
Buster: Okay, we’re all saying some things we’re going to regret.
Narrator: Meanwhile, G.O.B. was almost ready to begin his show.
G.O.B.: Okay, it’s magic time.
Michael: Hey, good luck out there now.
G.O.B.: Hey, listen, I got you something for being such a good guy. Not that it’s a surprise. You always are.
Michael: Oh, well, uh... My watch.
G.O.B.: I want you to have it.
Michael: Well, you’ve stolen so many things from me over the years. This is the first time you’ve ever given something back.
G.O.B.: I want to try to be a better brother. Like you are to me.
Stage Hand: We’re ready for you.
Michael: G.O.B.? Have a good show out there.
Final Countdown plays.
Man: Ladies and gentlemen, a magician named “Gob.”
George Michael: Dad?
Michael: Hey, George Michael. Where’s the leather jacket?
George Michael: It’s like you said. You can’t change who you are. So what? So I don’t have any hair on my arms or legs. So what? You know, a leather jacket’s not going to change that. You know, I was trying to act like a tough guy, and it’s wrong. I’m just a boring, old nice guy like you.
Michael: I’m not that nice.
George Michael: Yeah, and if this is about the chair, I’ve been thinking. You deserve it. You know, it’s not like you’d ever steal something big.
Narrator: Michael was having second thoughts about his plan, but then got some unexpected help.
Stage Hand: Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt. You better tell “Gob” the legs aren’t coming.
Michael: Oh, my God.
Marta: This is his one last chance. They’ll never let him in The Alliance again. You have to do something. This is so important to me and G.O.B.
Michael: Where am I going to get a pair of beautiful women’s legs on such short notice?
Narrator: So, the trick went forward as planned.