For Your Safety: Don’t Answer That Door
Episode Transcript
Written by Jim Vallely and Mitchell Hurwitz.
Lindsay: Okay, look. I know you got a crocodile in spelling, but this has gone too far.
Lindsay: I hate to say it, but Michael might be right. You need to learn a little discipline.
Maeby: Hmm. Nope. That doesn’t feel right.
Lindsay: No, no, no. I am telling you.
Lindsay: You are now punished. I punish thee.
Maeby: Are you serious? What could you possibly come up with that would punish me?
Lindsay: Oh, I have to come up with another thing?
Lucille: Oh, Lindsay? Before I go, I just have one word for you. Sleeves.
Lindsay: You’re going to spend the day working for your grandmother.
George Michael: No. No, that’s not the answer. What? No. You stupid jerk. Why don’t you... Dumb. Dumb. George. Dumb. Dumb.
Michael: Whoa! Whoa! Calm down, you two. It’s just a math problem.
George Michael: Yeah. But if I fail math, there goes my chance at a good job and a happy life full of hard work, like you always say.
Michael: Maybe I’m pushing you too hard. You’re all stressed out. Your eyes are all red. Why don’t you take the night off. Just shut the book. Go ahead. Just close the book. Go ahead.
George Michael closes the book.
Michael: Your finger is still in the book. George Michael.
Narrator: Buster, meanwhile, was still worried about Lucille 2, whose condition seemed to be worsening.
Buster: You okay? How is your nausea?
Buster: I mean, our, our nausea.
Narrator: He remembered a study he took part in on medical marijuana and its effects on nausea.
CC has: ... at University Hospital...
Narrator: The subjects took the drug in the form of a THC pill. Nausea was then induced with a day at the carnival, which is what attracted Buster to the experiment in the first place. Buster was found two days later in Los Angeles, California trying to eat his way through this enormous plaster donut.
George Michael: Enjoy. Tell your friends.
Buster: Hey, nephew. I was looking for you at your home.
George Michael: Oh, yeah. Dad told me to take the day off so I decided to come in to work.
Buster: Oh! So I thought maybe you could help me get some weed. It’s not for me. It’s for Lucille 2, my girlfriend.
George Michael: She’s your girlfriend? Dad said you were her nurse.
Buster: Look, she’s sick. This could help her.
Buster: Pill form would actually be fantastic because I could put it on a little tea biscuit and I could just tell her it’s a marshmallow.
George Michael: Look. I have no idea where to get something like that, okay? What makes you think I would?
Buster: Well, you work here. This place is pot central, right?
Narrator: In the ’70s, the Boardwalk was the place to buy marijuana in Newport Beach. The stand served as a convenient meeting place because of the banana’s resemblance to a yellow marijuana cigarette. It had even inspired a song.
Music: / A Big Yellow Joint, a Big Yellow Joint / / I’ll meet you down at the Big Yellow Joint... /
George Michael: Look, I’m sorry. I can’t help you, okay? Why don’t you just ask Uncle G.O.B.?
Young G.O.B.: Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?
Buster: No. No. He’d never do it. Besides, he always makes fun of me for dating Lucille. Everybody does. Look, maybe you could tell G.O.B. for me. But you can’t tell him it’s for me.
George Michael: I’m working.
Buster: You can’t tell anybody.
Michael: George Michael!
George Michael: Oh. Hey!
Michael: What are you doing here? I thought I told you to take the day off.
George Michael: Yeah. But there’s nothing to do. I mean, Maeby’s at Gangee’s...
Michael: Find something to do. Go make mistakes. Get in trouble. Be young.
Buster: Yes. I totally agree. Make a mistake.
