For Your Safety: Don’t Answer That Door
Episode Transcript
Written by Jim Vallely and Mitchell Hurwitz.
Hot Cop #3: Let’s get this party started.
G.O.B.: Aren’t you guys gonna cuff him?
Hot Cop #3: You wanted handcuffs?
Michael: All right, George Michael... hope you learned your lesson, pal.
All: Yeah! Yeah!
Michael: Okay, all right, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
George Michael: What is this?
Michael: This is a lesson, and maybe I pushed you into this, but... I love you too much to see you ruin your life with that crap.
George Michael: But it wasn’t for me.
Michael: Then who was it for? Who? Give me a name.
George Michael: Okay, it was for me. Yeah. I was gonna smoke the marijuana like a cigarette.
Michael: Well, now you’re looking at a nice, big, fat punishment.
Buster: I’m sorry. Excuse me. I’m sorry. Ooh!
Michael: What are you doing here?
Buster: The, uh... the boy was looking out for me.
G.O.B.: What?
Buster: It-it’s for my girlfriend. She’s sick.
G.O.B.: Why don’t you just wait it out? She’s gonna be gone soon.
Buster: Oh, that’s it. Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?
Michael: Hey! Hey! Hey!
Buster: Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?
Michael: What’s the matter with you? Easy. Is that true? Why didn’t you tell me this?
George Michael: Well, you’re always telling me to do the right thing. Family first.
Michael: You know, it is unbelievable that you’d ask my son to score you pot. Why don’t you drive him home, and you and I will talk about this later. Go ahead. Go with Buster.
George Michael: I’m sorry.
Michael: Hey. What are you guys doing?
Drug Dealer: We got your signal. You flashed the lights. We got the drugs. You got the money?
Michael: No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. We’re all good.
Drug Dealer: We just want the money. You want to make this ugly?
G.O.B.: We were just teaching the young fellow a lesson. We don’t want any trouble with you, governor. Thanks very much.
Drug Dealer: You know who you’re dealing with?
Police: (Over loudspeaker.) Drop the boxes!
Police: Put your hands in the air.
Drug Dealer: What is this?
G.O.B.: We had nothing to do with this!
Drug Dealer: You set us up!
G.O.B.: No! These are just strippers! Look how hot they are!
