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Episode Transcript

Written by Courtney Lilly.

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Revision: 1.12

Narrator: Now the story of the family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s Arrested Development.


Narrator: Michael Bluth was taking his son to an interview at the prestigious Milford School, an institution once famous for its credo that children should be neither seen nor heard.

Father holds up card, “water.”

Child at Milford School: Woman.

Michael: (Whispers.) They’re not getting in.

George Michael: But, Dad, you know, I might not get in, either, and that wouldn’t be the end of the world.

Michael: We’re not even going down that road, okay. The next four years are all about your future, and that’s the most important thing to me, okay?

Charles Milford: Things have changed around here. We have talking sessions throughout the day. We even have a talking room where students are encouraged to go in and talk to their heart’s content.

George Michael: Sounds like fun.

Michael: First thing he’s said all day.

Vote: ***** / Average: 3.89 (45 votes)

Charles Milford: The point is, I am not my father, but I do think it’s best for the Milford School to... distance itself from the Bluth name. It’s... it’s nothing personal.

Michael: Are you talking about the fact that my father is in jail? Because I don’t like to be compared to my father, either.

George Michael: I don’t mind being compared to my father.

Michael: Save it for the talk room, son.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.14 (49 votes)

George Michael: Sorry.

Michael: I can assure you that my family is back on track and no longer in any trouble.

Charles Milford: Not according to today’s paper.

Michael: Oh, God, what have we done this time?

Newspaper headline, “Bluth Matron in Brawl at Klimpy’s Family Style Restaurant.” Another article, “Musician sues restaurant over use of name.”

Lucille: Don’t ever mention Klimpy’s to me again.

Michael: What did you do?

Lucille: If I still had money, I’d buy a Klimpy’s just to burn it to the ground.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.19 (52 votes)

Michael: I know, Mom. You hate Klimpy’s. Tell me what happened.

Lucille: Well, your sister and I tried to get into that new restaurant, Rud, and they wouldn’t let us in.

Hostess: Mrs. Bluth, there’s absolutely no room.

Lindsay: Come on. I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.

Lucille: Oh, who’s going to believe that?

Narrator: With her blood sugar at a perilous low, Lucille made Lindsay pull into the nearest restaurant.

Waitress at Klimpy's: Welcome to Klimpy’s. Anywhere you like.

Lucille: This does not bode well.

Lucille: I’ll have the Ike and Tina tuna.

Waitress at Klimpy's: Plate or platter?

Lucille: I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.Listen

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.60 (230 votes)

Waitress at Klimpy's: And what would you like?

Lindsay: I’d like my old life back.

Michael: So there really was no fight.

Lucille: Well, one tiny thing at the end.

Lindsay: (Sobbing.) How can you treat me this way?!

Lucille: Oh, please! Everything I’ve said about you can be covered with makeup and a lie about a thyroid problem. Good grief almighty! You think I’m enjoying my slide into poverty?

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.29 (55 votes)
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