Written by Courtney Lilly.
Lucille: It was all just a big misunderstanding.
Lindsay: Totally blown out of proportion.
Michael: Well, listen, just so you know, I think it cost George Michael a chance to go to the Milford School.
Lucille: Oh, big deal. Buster’s the only one who ever liked it.
Narrator: Buster so excelled at being neither seen nor heard that he remained at the school, undetected, for a full two semesters after he was supposed to graduate.
Michael: Nonetheless, Mother, I think this bad press is starting to taint my son’s future, and we’ve got to put an end to it.
Lindsay: Michael, if this is a lecture on how we’re all supposed to whatever, and blah, blah, blah, well, you can save it, ’cause we all know it by heart.
Lupe: Good-bye, missus.
Michael: Well, then, Lindsay, you’ll be happy to know that I have a new idea.
Michael: I met a publicist today. I’m going to hire her. We need somebody to make us look good.
Lucille: And I say it’s a waste of money. We’re-we’re plenty sympathetic as we are. Is this your onion?
Lucille: What’s in the foil?
Lupe: Nothing. It’s a ball of foil for my son.
Lucille: Have a great day, sweetie.
Michael: I don’t know how she can’t.
Lindsay: So, this publicist, Michael, is she cute?
Michael: I never really noticed.
Narrator: In fact, Michael had noticed her at the gym, but only recently gotten up the nerve to talk to her, giving him a chance to work on his flirting skills...
Jessie: Race you to the top of the hill.
Narrator: ...which had gotten rusty over the years.
Michael: Okay, sure, she’s, uh, she’s cute. I suppose. I mean, now that you’re making me think about it. Uh, she’s cute. She’s a cutie. She’s a little cutie pie. But I never really noticed.
Lindsay: Why don’t you just ask her out?
Michael: That’s not an option.
Lindsay: Because you’re scared?
Michael: No, because of George Michael. He still hasn’t gotten over losing his mother. I just want to get him through high school, and then we’ll deal with me, okay?
Lindsay: So you didn’t get any while you were in high school, and now you’re not gonna get any while George Michael’s in high school.
Narrator: And so the family gathered at the model home, eager to hear their new publicist’s plan.
G.O.B.: Get jobs and behave?
Lindsay: Instead of us getting jobs, why don’t you do your job and tell everyone we’ve got jobs?