George Michael: You know, I have a job.

Tobias: (Fake cough.) Kiss-ass. Well, we were all thinking it.

Buster: Uh, I’m unclear about what it is exactly you do.

Jessie: Excellent question. What a publicist does...

Buster: No, no, I was talking to George Michael. When did you get a job?

George Michael: At the banana stand.

Buster: (Laughs.) Oh, duh. I thought you meant, like, a plumber or something, and I was, like, when did that happen?

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.59 (307 votes)

Laughing.

Michael: Jessie, why don’t you just go ahead and jump in here. It’s a tough group to keep focused.

Jessie: Well, I’m going to go on the offensive. I want to get an article in the paper to show that this is a functional family and this is a relatable family.

George, Sr.: Are we on? Hello. Hello from prison. Thanks to Jessie for setting up this tele-link. I started a, uh, Torah study group. Very excited about it. It looks like, I don’t know, it looks like some, uh... I have some possible converts.

G.O.B.: (Laughs.) I’m sorry, isn’t Michael the least likable one in the family?

George, Sr.: I didn’t quite hear that. The reception’s bad, but as the Talmud tells us... (static) ...to the jackal as to an oxen. (Chuckling.) Did we get a laugh?

G.O.B.: I’m sorry. I’m just still on the whole Michael-being-likable thing. You know that he’s only had sex with, like, four women, right?

Jessie: Let’s focus on your likability. You’re going to start doing some charity work with your magic.

Lindsay: Actually, I’m kind of the charitable one of the family.

Jessie: I think it’s best if you got a job.

Lindsay: Oh, come on! I’m a parent—I care about my daughter every bit as much as Michael cares about his son.

Maeby: What grade am I in?

Lindsay: What kind of job?

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.38 (65 votes)

Jessie: Something where you’ll be seen. I represent Cloud Mir vodka, and they want someone to promote it by ordering it at a hot bar—a place like... Rud.

Lindsay: Okay, I’ll do it.

Jessie: And, Tobias, you’re a medical doctor and you’re living an absurd fantasy as an actor. It’s time to get real.

Tobias: Wow. That’s tough talk... but I like it. You’re saying, land a major film.

Jessie: I’m saying, get your medical license back. I’ve set up a hearing for tomorrow in Boston. Michael has generously donated $1,100 for your trip.

Tobias: (Laughs.) I’m sorry. I truly believe that the universe wants me to be an actor and not a doctor. I’m just waiting for a sign.

Michael: Here’s your cash. Universal Shuttle picks you up at 8:00.

Tobias: Any sign... really.

Michael: Thought-provoking.

Jessie: And, Lucille, people think you’re cold.

Jessie: Buster.

Buster: Right here, ready to go, at your service, get me out there.

Jessie: I want you to stay in. People find you odd and alienating. You make them uneasy. Stay out of the spotlight.