Balboa’s Most Wanted: “Gob”
Planted Story Slanders Bluths
Fight Erupts At Local Hotspot
Episode Transcript
Written by Courtney Lilly.
Jessie: Michael’s about to become the most unlikable man in town. (Breezily.) Check the papers.
Maeby: She kind of reminds me of my mother.
Narrator: And later that night, Lindsay was working at Rud.
Lindsay: You seem like a man of taste and class.
Man at Bar: I’ll give you $2,000 to touch me.
Lindsay: (Chuckles.) Oh, my God, my husband.
Man at Bar: You’re married to Carl Weathers? (bleep)
Lindsay: What’s going on? Why are you here? Why aren’t you in Boston? Who’s he?
Tobias: His name is Carl Weathers, and he’s my new acting teacher. And, Lindsay, he’s teaching me all these valuable life lessons.
Carl Weathers: I buy all my cars at police auction.
Tobias: He’s full of stuff like that. And, Lindsay, he’s teaching me to follow my dreams.
Lindsay: Give me a bourbon.
Carl Weathers: Any room on that tab for me to jump on?
Narrator: And Michael caught up with Jessie.
Michael: Thanks for coming. I was just doing some thinking, and I pulled away, and that was wrong. I really want to make this work.
Lucille: Get away from my son.
Michael: Hey, Mom. Kind of on a date here.
Lucille: You’ll change your mind after this.
Narrator: And Michael saw the story that Jessie had planted.
Newspaper headline, “The Cold Hard Bluths.” Also, “Bum Gets Balloon.”
Lucille: Let me tell you something, sweetie. We may pick on each other, get into little scrapes, call each other names and occasionally steal from each other, but that’s because we are family. You have no right. You don’t get to do that.
Michael: Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! We are not settling things like that anymore, all right? I don’t need my son reading any more articles about us in the paper.
Jessie: Oh, you and your son. Stop using him as an excuse for everything you do. I saw him today. He’s fine with us.
Michael: What? You saw him today?
Jessie: Yeah. I told him he was getting in the way of your happiness.
Michael: You did? You said that to my son?
Jessie: Yeah.
Michael: You’re on your own. Ladies.
Woman in Restaurant: Hey, look out.
Man in Restaurant: Bluth fight!
Trisha Thoon: The press is having a love affair with hating the Bluth family. And they were the center of another brawl this evening.
Carl Weathers: I’m looking at $50,000 worth of medical bills here.
Michael: Well, it looks like you won’t be getting into this school. You disappointed?
George Michael: Are you disappointed?
Michael: Look, George Michael, I want you to tell me how you feel, okay? I don’t want you to worry so much about hurting my feelings.
George Michael: I didn’t want to go to that school and Jessie’s a psycho.
Michael: It could’ve saved us a little bit of time.
George Michael: But, Dad, you know, if you ever want to date anyone else, that’s fine with me.
Michael: Yeah? Thanks, buddy.
George Michael: ’Cause, you know, I mean, four women, that is kind of sad.
