The Magical Arrested Development Tour, Part II
Episode Transcript
Written by John Levenstein and Jim Vallely.
Narrator: Actually, “Maybe Tonight” was a very popular candy slogan and the chances were one in eight.
George Michael: What are you doing?
Maeby: I’m just trying to throw stuff at my dad’s head, but the wind keeps taking it.
George Michael: How cool. So I found this. I thought it was like a one-in-a-million thing. It just made me think of you.
Maeby: Oh, perfect.
Tobias: I saw that.
Narrator: And Lucille found a way to force a wedge into her son’s relationship.
Lucille: Lucille, guess who’s coming to dinner? I’ve invited Carl to dine with us next Tuesday.
Buster: Mother, you know I have class on Tuesday.
Lucille: Oh, how silly of me. Well, then perhaps the two of you can have dinner alone.
Carl Weathers: I never say no to dinner with a beautiful lady, that is.
Lucille 2: Do you like ham?
Carl Weathers: No. I love it.
Narrator: And the family gathered to watch a videotape George, Sr. had sent Lindsay and Tobias for their anniversary.
George, Sr.: Hello, I’m George Bluth. And for the next 45 minutes, let me take you on a journey.
Lucille: Good grief, he sent us one of his idiot video tapes.
George, Sr.: First, this.
Announcer: You’ve seen George Bluth on videotape.
George, Sr.: You have got to learn to be alone. I cheated and I lied and I whored around.
Prisoner: Caged Wisdom changed my life.
Announcer: Now’s your chance for only 4 payments of $19.95.
Lindsay: This was supposed to be my anniversary.
Lucille: Yeah, and this was supposed to be my Valentine’s Day party.
G.O.B.: Speech, speech, speech,
All: (Chanting.) Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech...
Narrator: The family continued to chant “speech, speech, speech” for no one in particular.
All: ...speech, speech, speech!
Michael: Gee, after all that, I was kind of hoping somebody would make a speech.
Buster: Speech, speech, speech!
Michael: All right, I’ll say something.
G.O.B.: Typical.
Michael: We’ve all had a tough couple of months. I think we’re all really figuring out who we are and what we really need in life, and that can be painful. However, you can’t really heal yourself until you stop living a lie, you know? But I promise that we’re all going to be a lot happier in the long run. So, on a very unusual Valentine’s Day, cheers to Mom and Dad, to Buster and Lucille....
Buster: Don’t forget my girlfriend.
Michael: That’s who I meant. ...To Lindsay and Tobias. To George Michael and... I almost said George Michael and Maeby.
George Michael: (Laughing.) Oh.
Michael: To G.O.B. and Marta. To love and happiness. I love you all, Marta.
Narrator: And Marta realized that it was Michael, not G.O.B., who had everything she had been looking for in a man.
Marta: I made a huge mistake.
Lindsay: I was thinking about that toast you gave at my anniversary party. So I want to get a divorce.
Michael: What?
