The Magical Arrested Development Tour, Part II
Episode Transcript
Written by John Levenstein and Jim Vallely.
George Michael: No, don’t.
Tobias: See, nothing has ever been easy for us. I mean, the only reason she went out with me was to piss off her boyfriend. The only reason she ever married me was to piss off her mother. And, then, of course, we couldn’t conceive, so there was that famous ordeal.
George Michael: Wh-What do you mean, you couldn’t conceive?
George Michael: Was Maeby adopted? Is she not really related to me? Is she just some girl I know?
Tobias: (Quietly.) Ah, it’s Carl Weathers. Yes, Carl Weathers? I did? That’s... that’s wonderful. That’s...
Tobias: Ha! I booked it! I booked the acting job! Did you hear that, Lindsay? You could have been sleeping with Frightened Inmate #2.
Narrator: And Lucille was experiencing being alone for the first time. Unable to sleep, she decided to watch TV.
George, Sr.: You have got to learn to be alone.
Narrator: Then she remembered that with no one to disturb, she could turn up the volume as loud as she wanted.
George, Sr.: You have to find the joy within yourself.
Narrator: And that’s when Lucille realized that she just might like being alone after all.
Music: / Mama’s lettin’ loose / / Mama’s got the stuff, Mama’s lettin’ go... /
Music is “Rose’s Turn” from Gypsy.
Narrator: The next night, Michael had dinner with Marta at her house, hoping to finally get the answers he was looking for.
Michael: So, um, about G.O.B., how’s that going?
Marta: Well, as you said, finding out who you really are, it can be painful, but you can’t live a lie.
Michael: No, I can’t, but some people find a way to make that work.
Marta: Yes, but sometimes, working at something, it’s a way to not deal with some other things.
Michael: But... he who often suggests uh, working on another thing, which, when the first thing is not...
Marta: Will you excuse me for a moment?
Michael: Yes. Sure.
Marta: What the hell is he talking about?
Amable: Can I have a piece of cake?
Narrator: And Michael saw an opportunity to get the information he wasn’t getting from Marta from her son.
Michael: I’ll tell you what, I got a deal for you, partner. I’ll give you what you want... if you give me what I want. Tell me everything you know about... Hermano.
Amable: Hermano?
Michael: Does your mother love Hermano?
Amable: Si, mi hermano.
Michael: He’s here?
Amable: Shh, he’s sleeping.
Marta: Don’t go in there.
Michael: Is there something you don’t want me to see?
Marta: What are you talking about?
Michael: You know, we can keep going around in circles, but maybe one of us should just come out and say what it is we want to say.
Marta: You’re right. It’s not working with G.O.B.
Michael: Why doesn’t he know that? You know you could’ve just come out and told him, you know, instead of lying and sneaking around and moving on to the next guy. I didn’t think you were that kind of a person. You know, I thought you and I shared the same values. I thought you and I could have been, uh... Nah, forget it. I don’t know how I had you so wrong.
Marta: You’re right. I should have told him before I invited you here. This could never be.
Narrator: Then he noticed the gift he had seen her buy.
Note reads, “Here’s the Tux. You bring the Flowers & Champagne... Te amo.”
Michael: What does “te amo” mean?
Amable: “I love you.”
Michael: Hm. And who’s in there?
Amable: Mi hermano.
