Episode Transcript
Written by Richard Rosenstock and Chuck Martin.
Buster: So... you’re, uh... you’re not with Marta anymore?
G.O.B.: Well, my plan is to get her wanting me but bad, and then I spring it on her. “I know you’ve been cheating on me. You just cost yourself one fine man and one fine CD of him singing ‘Love is in the Air.”’ (Eating dry spaghetti.)
Buster: Well, I would never, uh, do this while you were still going out, but, uh... if you’re done with her, I’d sure like a crack at her.
G.O.B.: Right, right... That sounds great. Go for it, buddy.
G.O.B.: But you know that she’s kind of used to being with me, right? So... it would be sort of like going from prime rib to—I don’t know—weird brother of prime rib. So...
George Michael’s note on the refrigerator can be seen in the background. “I finished the milk. Will buy more later. —George Michael”
G.O.B.: Do you even know her?
Buster: I’ve met her. I fell for her. I’ve been watching her program. El amor prohibido. “The Love that is Forbidden.” She is the love that’s forbidden. The love of my hermano.
G.O.B.: Brother... “hermano” means “brother”?
Buster: Yeah.
G.O.B.: Well... sounds like hermano is about to get his ass kicked.
Buster: Well, this is what I said I wanted. So? Alright, let’s get it over with.
Buster: So... so you are you going to hit me?
G.O.B.: No, I’m not going to hit you. You’re not the brother Marta’s cheating on me with.
Buster: Oh, who is?
G.O.B.: How should I know, Buster?
Buster: You know, there is a guy who plays her older brother on her show. I think his name is Tio.
G.O.B.: Tio. Well, sounds like someone who you think’s name is Tio is about to get his ass kicked. Thanks for the tip, Buster.
Michael: All right, Mom, I’ll be sure to tell Buster. Right, bye. Mom wanted me to tell you she doesn’t care whether you live or die, but if you’re not dead, she would like to see you at the courthouse tomorrow in a blue sweater.
Buster: Damn it! I hate the blue sweater.
Michael: She said it would look nice with the gray pants.
Buster: Damn it! She’s right!
Michael: Where’s G.O.B.?
Buster: I think he’s heading down to the set of Marta’s soap opera.
Michael: What?
Buster: Get this. She may be cheating on him with the guy who plays her brother. I mean, I still like her but we’re going to have to deal with this.
Michael: I’ve got to go stop them.
Buster: And I’ve got a blue sweater to steam.
Narrator: G.O.B. raced to confront Tio with Michael in hot pursuit. George Michael, having failed to get the information he needed from anyone else, made the ultimate sacrifice, and went to the keeper of the family secrets.
George Michael: So, uh, it’s about Maeby.
Lucille: Oh, that’s a lost cause. But you get what you pay for, huh?
George Michael: Yeah. Wait, what? What do you mean pay?
Lucille: Fertility tests, lab fees, donors and implants.
Lucille: All I know is, it took an extra year before we could add a den.
George Michael: So are you saying we’re not directly related?
Lucille: I’m saying she already spent her inheritance getting here.
Narrator: G.O.B. meanwhile had finally shown up at the El amor prohibido set.
