Written by Richard Rosenstock and Chuck Martin.
Narrator: Unfortunately, the actor who played Tio had also starred in a Mexican film about the life of Oscar de la Hoya.
Michael: G.O.B., hey. Hey, you all right?
G.O.B.: Where am I? Am I in two-thirds of a hospital room?![]()
Michael: Yeah. Listen, um... It’s me. I’m the guy that she likes, hermano’s brother... me.
G.O.B.: If I’d have known it was you, I wouldn’t have minded.
Michael: You wouldn’t?
G.O.B.: Michael, you’re a great guy. If you’d liked her, I would have said go for it.
Michael: I do kind of like her.
G.O.B.: Go for it.
Michael: Hi! My brother said we can do it. That didn’t come out as romantic as I’d hoped, but...
Mariachi music playing “Love is in the Air.”
Marta: Everything is perfect.
Michael: Wait. You jinxed it. Don’t worry. I’ll turn it off. Mm, it’s just my mother.
Narrator: Meanwhile, Tobias told Lindsay that he couldn’t do the part.
Tobias: It plays naked, okay?
Lindsay: Tobias, we’re going to have to deal with this sometime. I mean, I understand you not wanting to do it on film, but you can’t even get dressed in front of me.
Tobias: It is not you, Lindsay. I can’t get undressed alone. I can’t get undressed by myself. I mean, this is a real affliction. I’m sorry it’s not recognized here in the States, but I know for a fact that there’re two members of German parliament. They’re called nein wohlstandig nude. But they’re German, so... They speak German, so they have a different...
Lindsay: Well, it’s not normal, and ignoring it isn’t going to make it go away. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.
Tobias: Please... please don’t make fun.
Lindsay: I’m not making fun. Look, how about we do this together? You take off your shirt and I’ll take off my jacket.
George Michael: This family can be pretty screwed up sometimes. But the good news is, I just found out...
Maeby: Actually, I used to think that too, but it’s better than the alternative.
George Michael: Well, have you explored all the alternatives, because I guess what I’m getting at...
Maeby: No, but I’m glad to have this family, you know. ’Cause I know I said some bad stuff, but it’s much better here than it was in Boston. And I have a cousin here, so even if my parents do get divorced, I have you, right?
Narrator: George Michael realized that no matter how much it upset him, he didn’t want to take Maeby’s family away from her.
George Michael: Yeah, you got us, all right.
Maeby: Now all I need is a boyfriend.
Narrator: Lucille was left alone with her oldest son at the courthouse.
G.O.B.: Just you and me, huh? God, why am I the only one who ever comes through in this family?
Narrator: And George Sr. was led into the courtroom.
George, Sr.: Where the hell is everybody?
G.O.B.: I’m here, dad.
George, Sr.: I can’t believe no one showed up. I don’t know, maybe it’s for the best. Maybe I should just stay in prison so my family can be free.
Lucille: Look, you’re my husband and you belong back at home with me.
George, Sr.: You really love me.
Lucille: Call it what you want. I’m tired of paying Lupe to clean one dish.
Barry: Sorry, sorry, sorry, I’m so late. I had another hearing. Here’s the good news: I think I’m going to get off. I have a good lawyer. You look great in red.
Previous comments:
#1 German Dude wrote on January 19, 2005:
According to the German sitting next to me, Tobias’ german parliament line is wrong. The german is wrong.
#2 Matt wrote on January 25, 2005:
My niece, who has her masters in German, also says the German is wrong. It should be something like nein vollstandig nackt
