Episode Transcript
Written by Richard Rosenstock and Chuck Martin.
Barry: Anyhoo, what are we doing here? What’s the plan?
Lucille: The plan? You’re our lawyer.
Barry: It’s a figure of speech. You’re going to be fine.
Buster enters followed by the mariachi band.
Lucille: Oh, for God’s sake. He’s on his own for two days, and he joins a gang.
Buster: These guys? Oh, I’ve got them for the afternoon. Besides, they’re the only thing I have left to live for in this world.
Lucille: Oh, stop being so dramatic. You know where I live.
Buster: I wasn’t talking about you, Mom. I was talking about Marta. Excuse me.
G.O.B.: You were serious? ’Cause I got news for you, pal. Marta’s been interested in Michael. That’s right. Dull, nothing going on upstairs... Michael.
Buster: I know. I saw them making out at her front door.
G.O.B.: What? When?
Buster: Just now. The stuff I’ve got to work out with Marta just keeps piling up.
G.O.B.: Unbelievable.
Bailiff #1: All rise. This court is now in session, the Honorable Lionel Ping presiding.
Barry: (Whispers.) Oh, we’ve got Ping.
Judge Ping: I would remind you that there are no cameras allowed in my courtroom.
Sign #1 reads, “Shorts and/or beach attire may not be worn in this courtroom. Please advise the courtroom assistant before leaving to change into proper attire.” Sign #2 reads, “No gum chewing, food or drink allowed in the courtroom.” Sign #3 reads, “Please turn off all phones and electronic devices.”
Judge Ping: Conspiracy, racketeering, evidence tampering, fraud, theft, grand theft, petty theft.
Barry: Wow, I-I did not get that page.
Michael: Hey.
G.O.B.: Michael!
Judge Ping: Resisting arrest. Resisting arrest...
Michael: Hey.
G.O.B.: How dare you?
Michael: Now, come on. You said it was okay. And nothing happened.
G.O.B.: Oh, did I?
Michael: Take it easy, all right?
G.O.B.: I don’t remember saying that.
Michael: Yeah, well, you did.
Judge Ping: Order in the court.
G.O.B.: Is that my belt?
Michael: Well, so what?
Judge Ping: Order!
Michael: Get your hands off me.
G.O.B.: What is your problem?
Michael: Relax!
G.O.B.: What is your problem?
Michael: Okay?
G.O.B.: I should relax? Maybe you should relax.
Lucille: What are you doing?! What’s the matter with you?! Get off him! George!
Narrator: George, Sr., having never heard his charges listed consecutively in one sitting, panicked and ran with great intensity. Michael and G.O.B. continued their fight onto the courthouse steps.
Lucille: Stop it before someone gets hit in the face!
Narrator: Buster realized this was his opportunity to fulfill a longtime fantasy.
