Michael: For me? Really?
Michael: Thanks, but no, Lindsay. I’ve already been set up once today by a sibling, and I don’t think you people know my type.
Lindsay: Hey, look, it’s not coming from me. It’s George Michael. He told me. I think he wants a mother.
Michael: Well, that’s ridiculous. He’s got you. He’s got our mother. You’d think that would turn him off the entire concept.
Michael: Besides, I’m not going to rush out and marry somebody just because you think my son would like it.
Ms. Baerly: Welcome. I’m Miss Baerly, the Ethics teacher. My goal is to teach your children about the preciousness of life that can be lost by the mindless pulling of a trigger.
Michael: Mmm. No ring.
Narrator: And so Michael got to know his son’s Ethics teacher.
Michael: Ethics. Right and wrong. How can one thing be right and another one be wrong? I mean, which is which, you know? I guess that’s the “Urgh!” of it, you know? So frustrating.
Ms. Baerly: I don’t know. I mean, they just threw this class at me after Mr. Daniels had a stroke.
Michael: I had him—Mr. Daniels. How is he?
Ms. Baerly: Oh, he, you know, had a stroke.
Michael: Oh. I thought you were joking.
Ms. Baerly: No. I was just laughing ’cause you were laughing.
Michael: Right, no. Yeah. Gosh. Hmm. Urgh!
Ms. Baerly: Urgh! But, you know, I really am antiwar and antiviolence, and I think I’m an ethical person.
Michael: Right. Here’s an ethical question. Can a parent take a teacher out for a drink or...?
Ms. Baerly: I don’t know. Do you have a wife?
Michael: Yeah. But she’s dead.
Ms. Baerly: Oh.
Ms. Baerly: Have you ever been married?
Michael: Yeah. She died.
Ms. Baerly: Oh, God. Why are we laughing?
Michael: I don’t... Well, the Mr. Daniels stroke thing all over again.
Michael: Let’s go get that drink.
Ms. Baerly: Yeah. It can only help.
Ms. Baerly: Urgh!
Narrator: George Sr. was dealing with his own admirer.
Cindi Lightballoon: Oh, I’ve already told you so many of my sins. Maybe you could tell me some of yours.
George, Sr.: Yeah, well there are legal implications to that, but... back to your sins. Do that one about the ladies’ shower in your college dorm again.
Narrator: And Michael was on his way to what would be his second date with Miss Baerly.
Lucille: Michael, the little Korean is here, and I don’t know what to do with him. At least I think it’s a him. You’ve got to strip them down to next to nothing before you could even tell.
Michael: Yeah. Mom, I just spoke to Social Services and, although they don’t like to do this, if you can prove that it’s a bad environment for a child, and I would suggest saying what you just said to me. Don’t change a word. They will take him back.
Lucille: Ha, ha, ha. (To Annyong.) Don’t get too comfortable. Shoes on, Mister. Shoes on. (Into phone.) He’s out of control.
Knocking on door.