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Staff Infection

Episode Transcript

Written by Brad Copeland.

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Tobias: (Laughs.) Wow! Prison.

Narrator: Meanwhile, Michael and Buster had arrived at the construction site, and Buster was actually starting to enjoy himself.

Buster: Michael! I’m reinforcing the header!

Michael: That’s great, buddy.

Buster cackles.

Michael: Listen, uh, also, I know that we’re behind on the payroll, but as soon as the zoning committee gives me their approval, I know the bank’s gonna release the money. Right now I’m just asking everyone to, you know, power through, sacrifice.

Foreman: I’ll try, but these guys have been working too hard not to get paid.

Michael: I’ll get on it, but until then, you know, I’ve got Buster here to help, that’s another guy.

Buster yells, falls, then groans weakly.

G.O.B.: Michael! Michael. Michael.

Michael: How’d you know I was here?

G.O.B.: I called the office. You know, that Kitty is starting to sound pretty damn sexy to me. Maybe I ought to...

Michael: That was Lindsay.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.28 (57 votes)

G.O.B.: Anyway.

Michael: Yeah.

G.O.B.: What’s Busty doing here?

Buster: Michael got me the job.

G.O.B.: How’d you get him to do construction? The guy’s, like, the world’s biggest chicken. Coka, coka, coka.

Buster: I’m not a chicken.

Michael: Yeah, he’s not a chicken. He just doesn’t like confined spaces, that’s all.

G.O.B.: I thought it was open spaces.

Buster: No, it’s both.

Buster: But I love it here. And the language these guys use. Rough! One of the guys told me to take my head out of my bottom and get back to work. (Cackling laughter.) My bottom! (Laughing.)

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.57 (143 votes)

Michael: What do you want? You want your paycheck?

G.O.B.: I usually get cash under the table. But if you made it out to “Cash”...

Michael: Well, I got bad news for you, G.O.B.

Foreman: Hey! Pick up the pace, douche bag!

G.O.B.: (Grumbles.) Michael.

Foreman: You too, candy ass.

Buster: (Cackling.) Candy ass.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.47 (88 votes)

Narrator: With Michael gone, Lindsay was taking over.

Lindsay: Thanks, fellas.

Ted: We, uh, finished the proposal and, uh, we’re gonna order some pizza. Um, we were wondering if we could have two toppings, on account of it’s Saturday.

Lindsay: Well, he’s not here, and since I’m in charge, I’m taking you all out to lunch. The whole staff.

Ted: We have to go to lunch.

Man #3: We have to go to lunch, guys!

Man #4: Come on. Let’s go to lunch.

Michael: What happened to the lights?

Lindsay: Isn’t this better? Doesn’t this just want to make you curl up and forget about the world?

Michael: Lindsay, we need the lights so that people... Where are these people going?

Lindsay: I’m taking them out to lunch.

Michael: Did you reserve a restaurant? Are they taking their own cars?

Lindsay: Oh, they’ll figure something out.

Michael: No, they won’t. You don’t have a plan? I told you these people are sheep, and they’ll wander off and you’ll lose the sheep. You’ve lost the sheep.

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