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Altar Egos

Episode Transcript

Written by Barbie Feldman Adler.

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Maeby: Enjoy the 200 bucks.

George Michael: There’s six twenties here.

Maeby: That’s right.

George Michael: Right.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.07 (45 votes)

Narrator: And after an evening of drinking, Michael, being the sensible one offered to give Maggie a ride home.

Laughing.


Narrator: The next morning, Michael was wondering how to end his first one-night stand.

Maggie: Coffee?

Michael: Hi. Yes, please, thank you. That’s great, But you know what? I am going to have to read that plea soon. It’s a big case. But I promise later I will call...

Narrator: Michael struggled to follow G.O.B.’s instructions to just walk away.

Michael: I’ll call. And I will. I will call. Hey, who’s this?

Maggie: Oh, that’s Justice.

Michael: Hi, Justice.

Maggie: Hi, Justice. Is he as handsome as he smells?

Michael: I didn’t know that you had a dog.

Maggie: How else am I going to get to work?

Michael: You ride a dog to work?

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.32 (44 votes)

Maggie: You are funny. Let me see that smile.

Michael: It’s tough with your hand’s in the way.

Laughs.

Maggie: Say when.

Narrator: And suddenly, Michael recalled some non sequiturs from the night before.

Vote: ***** / Average: 3.31 (36 votes)

Michael: So tell me something personal about yourself.

Maggie: Uh, well, I have an irreversible case of ocular retinoblastoma.

Michael: Hey, I thought we said no more law talk.

Vote: ***** / Average: 3.49 (39 votes)

Michael: I really can’t see anybody right now.

Maggie: Well, I can’t see anybody ever.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.07 (43 votes)

Maggie: I’m blind.

Michael: I’m wasted!

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.13 (47 votes)

Narrator: Michael realized that the woman he was attempting to never see again was blind and he was overcome with guilt.

Michael: When... can we go out again?

Maggie: Really? I thought you were, like, just into this one-night stand kind of thing.

Michael: Come on. I took a blind woman home with no intention of dating her again. Please!

Chuckles.


Narrator: George Sr. was continuing to exploit his relationship with Cindi.

George, Sr.: What-What evidence does the government have on old wise George, by the way?

Cindi Lightballoon: Oh, I hate when you call yourself old. You’re new to me!

Vote: ***** / Average: 2.95 (37 votes)

George, Sr.: Oh, that’s-that’s nice. Do they have a-a file or tapes, or a...?

Cindi Lightballoon: Oh, what’s the use? You’re married.

George, Sr.: Yeah. L-Let me ask you...

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