The Magical Arrested Development Tour, Part II
Wife-Bluth
Episode Transcript
Written by Barbie Feldman Adler.
Narrator: And so the family gathered in the courtroom to announce their decision.
Bailiff #2: All rise! The court is now in session. The Honorable Lionel Ping presiding.
Barry: Oh, we’ve got Ping again.
Judge Ping: Please be seated. The prosecution has offered a plea?
Maggie: We have, Your Honor.
Barry: We got Lizer!
Narrator: Yes, Maggie was the most feared prosecutor in all of Orange County.
Maggie: And therefore I would like to bring your attention to Exhibit A.
Narrator: Not because she was a particularly adept lawyer, but because she won the sympathy not only of the jury and the judge...
Maggie: And was that man in the room not you, Doctor?
Narrator: But often times the defendants themselves.
Doctor: I... I was in that room.
Judge Ping: Is the defense ready to respond?
Barry: What are you hiding from?
Michael: (Whispering.) You got to call this off, okay? You got to get some more time. Get more time; she can smell me. She smells everything.
Barry: Objection.
Judge Ping: What?
Barry: We haven’t read it. It’s very long, Your Honor.
George, Sr.: (Whispers.) Sit down.
Barry: We haven’t read it. We’re going to get to—I’m going to start right now.
G.O.B.: That’s the blind chick you slept with?
Barry: Michael, you’re in bed with the prosecution?
G.O.B.: It’s genius. We can get all the information we need.
Michael got the information by (bleep)ing the prosecutie; exactly what G.O.B. didn’t get from Kitty.
Barry: Wait a minute. How will we know it’s not a trap? Maybe she’s setting you up.
Michael: It’s not a setup, okay. She gave me her real name. She said that she was a lawyer. I’m the one that lied to her. I got to go talk to her.
G.O.B.: No. Michael, you can save this family. Please, do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that Dad doesn’t have to pay his debt to society.
Barry: The solution to all our problems is staring you right in the face and it can’t even see you.
Michael: I got to go talk to her.
G.O.B.: Yeah, I better get back to the wife.
Barry: I think I’m going to take a scenic drive down to the City of Industry.
Narrator: And George Michael went to the fund-raiser for the sick student Maeby had mentioned. But was surprised not to see Maeby there.
Teacher: We have in our midst a child who has shown us the meaning of courage. Now, let’s show her the meaning of charity. Please welcome Surely Fünke.
Narrator: And that’s when George Michael realized Maeby had been making money by pretending to be two twin girls.
George Michael: Maeby?
Narrator: One of whom was ill.
Student: Somebody get her a cupcake.
Narrator: And Michael went to Maggie’s determined to tell her the truth.
Maggie: What a surprise? Come on in.
Michael: Hey, I’m in.
Maggie: Hello, sorry. Hey, I thought you were going to be my reader.
Michael: Oh, yeah. Oh, you’re working, huh?
