Local Schoolgirl Fights B.S.
Episode Transcript
Written by Abraham Higginbotham.
G.O.B.: She really wants to stay together, so...
Michael: Well, at least you finally consummated it, huh?
G.O.B.: Consummated... What is up with that prosecutie? I hope you didn’t break up with her.
Michael: No, I didn’t. And, to make matters worse, she gave me this. It’s a summary of the evidence that they have against Dad.
G.O.B.: Okay, Michael, this makes matters better. Let’s just destroy it and move on with our lives.
Michael: This is not the actual evidence. It’s just a list of the evidence. And, judging by the amount of boxes she has in her place, I have a feeling there’s a lot of it.
G.O.B.: A feeling? Oh, don’t tell me you won’t open it on ethical grounds.
Michael: I’m not sure what I’m going to do.
G.O.B.: What is with the insane moral code in this family?
Lindsay: Yes! We did it! We’re getting rid of the Ten Commandments. You know, the granite ones in front of the courthouse. You know, all it took was the threat of a lawsuit.
Michael: You’re involved with those protesters now? When did that happen?
Lindsay: Oh, who can remember?
Narrator: Lindsay’s involvement began hours before when, leaving the plea hearing, she first determined the Ten Commandments didn’t belong there.
Lindsay: They won’t even allow me one lousy cigarette! Oh!
Lucille: Honey, they’re just heels. They can only support so much weight.
Man hands Lindsay a flyer, “Join Us: In Keeping Our Churches and Courthouses Separate. Meet today on the Courthouse steps. Let’s take back control of our rights. We shalt not be abused. We SHALL overcome!”
Michael: Could we let another family bring down the Ten Commandments? This family’s already done more than its share.
George Michael: I told you someone would get hurt.
Maeby: Yeah, if I knew it was going to be you, I wouldn’t have been so worried.
Michael: Hey, what happened to you?
Maeby: He was trying to help some handicapped girl up to the bleachers, and he fell.
George Michael: It’s just a sprain, but at least it’s legitimate.
Tobias: Ah... the clumsy adolescent. It’s a phase we’ve all been through. Except for me. I was like a cat. I always ended up on all fours. (Long pause.) Like a cat.
Lindsay: Wait a minute. They don’t have ramps at your school?
George Michael: Well, not up the bleachers.
Lindsay: You should threaten to sue. It’s free if it’s just a threat, you know.
Maeby: Hey, that’s a good idea.
Michael: All right, no one’s going to sue anybody. I’m not going to have my son start abusing the legal system like the rest of this family. After all, we’re going to need it for years to come.
Narrator: And that’s when Michael decided to do the right thing.
Maggie: So what do you think? Do we have a case against this idiot family or what?
Michael: Well, that’s... that’s actually why I wanted to talk to you, Maggie. You see, it turns out that... that I am actually one of those idiots. I might even be the main idiot. Well, I’m not the main idiot, but I am the idiot in charge. I’m Michael Bluth. Okay? And I want you to know that I... I never opened up this folder. And, if... if you could see my face, you’d see how sorry I am that I lied to you.
Michael: You smelled me.
Maggie: I smelled you, baby.
Michael: Maggie, why... why didn’t you tell me at your house? And why did you give me this folder?
Maggie: I was manipulating you. This isn’t a real list. This is a wish list.
