Local Schoolgirl Fights B.S.
Episode Transcript
Written by Abraham Higginbotham.
Michael: Justice cannot be blind, Doc. He’s got a handle and everything. Come on, boy.
Justice jumps off table and into a trash can.
Michael: Maybe his peripheral isn’t great, but he’s been leading a blind woman around.
Veterinarian: I think she’s been leading him around.
Michael: But that would mean that—that Maggie isn’t blind.
Narrator: In fact, Maggie wasn’t blind, but had been pretending to be since she found it helpful in taking the LSATs.
Narrator: Finding it a tremendous boon to her professional life, Maggie continued the ruse.
Narrator: Her ability to see, however, was currently proving a disadvantage as she couldn’t reveal to the man she recognized as Tobias that she knew he was there without betraying her secret. And Tobias was finding her an uncannily difficult blind girl to outmaneuver. Their game of cat and mouse continued... until Michael showed up to return Justice.
Maggie: Oh, Justice, what is it, boy? What is it? Is there some jackass in my bathrobe?
Maggie: Oh! I can’t see!
Narrator: And later, the family gathered at the courthouse to respond to the plea offer.
G.O.B.: They don’t have a case against us. I took care of everything.
George, Sr.: Who else have we got? What about Buster? Worst case scenario, he gets caught... no more Buster.
Buster: I’m not going anywhere. You’re the one who’s staying put. Not me. You.
Lucille: What’s gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese?
Narrator: Outside the courthouse, Surely Fünke was addressing the crowd. George Michael prepared to confront her about it.
Maeby: (As Surely.) Not just to me, but to all handicapped kids out there who are sick and tired of sitting in the front rows at basketball games.
Narrator: George Michael spotted his father, and not wanting to appear to be abusing the legal system, found a place to hide. Michael, determined to expose Maggie, hid to avoid tipping his hand. It was then, however, that Lindsay’s advocacy group had their big moment.
Michael: Hey, George Michael, what are you doing here?
George Michael: I just thought I’d come down and see the family. See everyone.
Michael: Oh, really? Well, pal, you don’t need to do that. You can head on home. Why don’t you go help that handicapped friend of yours?
George Michael: She kind of lied to me.
Michael: I was recently lied to myself, and for what it’s worth, George Michael, you cannot let people get away with that.
George Michael: It’s just so hard to know what the right thing to do is.
Michael: I know, it’s not like there’s some list of rules handed down to us from on high.
Michael: Watch your head.
Narrator: So Michael set out to expose in court that Maggie wasn’t really blind.
Barry: She’s right there. What are we going to do?
Michael: I got a plan.
Barry: Thank God.
Michael: Your Honor, the purpose of a court of law is to find the truth, which is why witnesses swear on this. After all, they say justice is blind. Surely, she has enough sight to catch the truth before it hits her in the face.
Maggie: Objection, Your...
Narrator: Unfortunately, Maggie had been temporarily blinded that day.
