The Magical Arrested Development Tour, Part II
Episode Transcript
Written by Jim Vallely and John Levenstein.
Narrator: Even the members of Gobias agreed on that one.
Narrator: The next day, Lindsay, having found out about a military exercise, joined a protest group and went off to exercise her own First Amendment rights.
Military Official: This way, please. This way. Thank you. Right here. This way. I’d ask you to make sure you’re fully inside the free-speech zone before beginning your protest.
Lindsay: Free-speech zone? This is where we’re protesting? This isn’t right. Where are the cameras?
Military Official: They’re in the free-press zone. And, if you could save your comments until you’re completely loaded into the cage.
Lindsay: Well, at least the procession will come through here. They’ll see us protest.
Activist: Actually, they’re using their right to cut through the lemon grove.
Military Official: Okay, have fun. Enjoy your right to free speech. The armed forces welcomes your dissent.
Lindsay: Well, hopefully somebody will come by we can protest.
Verify.
Narrator: Meanwhile, George Michael and Maeby went to the prison.
George, Sr.: My grandchildren. What a surprise!
Maeby: Well, he’s here.
George, Sr.: Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?
George Michael: We thought you broke out of prison and were on the lam with stolen hair.
George, Sr.: Don’t you think that, if I got out of here, that I might want to go home?
Maeby: That’s what we thought, but then my dad told us about that lemon grove that you bought, and we thought you were going there.
George Michael: But don’t worry. We would never blow the whistle on family.
George, Sr.: What lemon grove?
Narrator: And so Michael went back to the board to take responsibility for his mistakes.
Michael: My dad screwed up. He bought something that he shouldn’t have. But I guess that’s why he’s behind bars.
Mr. Jordan: Yeah, and he’s not allowed to conduct any business from there.
Michael: Right. Yeah. I was involved. It wasn’t all his decision. You see, it was his idea, and then I carried out the transaction.
Mr. Jordan: That’s even worse. Conspiracy to commit fraud. Of course, you could always buy me off the board.
Michael: We don’t have the money anymore. I assure you that nothing illegal happened here. I misspoke. My dad, in no way, is talking about business from prison.
Ted: Excuse me. Your father’s calling from prison. He wants to talk to you about the land deal you made with his brother.
Ted: Hey, I found this on your desk. Can I keep this?
Narrator: Back at the free-speech zone, Lindsay’s protest had started to gain some attention. But not from any key decision makers.
Local Man #1: I thought we were seeing a gay marriage.
Local Man #2: Well, we can still hose them down.
Lindsay: What do we want?
All: Peace and freedom.
Lindsay: Where’s everyone going? What, are you giving up?
Activist: Face it, Lindsay, they’ve won.
Lindsay: Well, I am not going anywhere. All your water’s doing is whetting my appetite for protest. No hair for oil! No hair for oil!
Local Man #1: Fine, we’ll drown you out with music.
Lindsay: Crank it up! I’m in the mood to dance.
Narrator: Lindsay discovered that the activism that came out of her desire for prettier hair really did boost her self-esteem. While Michael, with nowhere else to turn, made a rare, unsolicited visit to his mother’s.
Lucille: Michael? I hope you’re here to bring me a check for Buster’s surgery. They made him stop eating after midnight, and he’s hungry, and he’s in a foreign land, and his jaw is clicking, and he’s scared.
Michael: I don’t have the money, all right, Mom?
Lucille: Then why are you here?
Michael: I don’t know, I don’t know.
Lucille: So... how’s work?
