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Not Without My Daughter

Episode Transcript

Written by Mitchell Hurwitz and Richard Rosenstock.

Page: 1 2 3 >> 8 Next >

Revision: 1.15

Narrator: Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s Arrested Development.


Narrator: Michael was heading off to work when his son, George Michael, reminded him of a yearly tradition.

George Michael: Hey, don’t forget me.

Michael: For what?

George Michael: It’s Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. Unless you had a daughter I don’t know about, I’m your girl.

eight years earlier...

Narrator: Michael had first made this joke when George Michael was six.

That means George Michael is now 14; he was described as 13 at the beginning of the season.

Michael: Well, she’s not my daughter, but it’s about as close as I’m going to get.

Young George Michael: I’m a good little girl. (Curtsies.)

Narrator: It was a joke Michael was starting to grow concerned about as it had not worn well with age.

last year...

George Michael: Hey, Dad. They’re out of sanitary napkins in the ladies washroom. (Laughing.)

George, Sr.: Weird kid.

Michael: I don’t this year it’s such a good idea. You’re getting older and you’re...

George Michael: Yeah, right. Pretty soon I’m going to have to start wearing a bra. Right, Dad? All right, give me one minute.

Michael: Really, let’s not this year. I cannot kill this joke. Hey, shouldn’t you be getting dressed?

Maeby: No, going with my dad to work today.

Tobias: Hey, peanut butter cup.

Michael: This is work— watching entertainment news?

Tobias: Well, excuse me, Michael, for not raising the perfect daughter that you did. I indulged this ritual for years in Boston.

Narrator: As a psychotherapist, Tobias was on the forefront of the self-esteem movement.

Flashback.

Patient: There’s like this longing... this pull. I mean, does that make me, you know, like, some kind of...?

Young Maeby: Homosexual.

Tobias: Maeby, please. She’s right, though, you probably are a homosexual.

Michael: So, Maeby, this is what you’re gonna do this year? You’re gonna watch him watch TV?

Maeby snoring.

Tobias: Oh, bless her. It’s like she knew what I was going to do next.

G.O.B.: It’s here! Girls with Low Self-Esteem: Newport Beach. It’s from the act I did on the beach over spring break.

Narrator: G.O.B. had recently done a magic show where he had made the Bluth family yacht disappear. It was spring break and the act was filmed for the popular video series Girls With Low Self-Esteem.

G.O.B.: This puts me back on top of the old magic career, though.

Michael: Hang on. G.O.B., you’re not going to put that in. There’s nudity on that. Maeby, why don’t you go upstairs and get dressed.

Tobias: I must warn you, Michael, she doesn’t respond well to strict directives.

Maeby: All right.

Tobias: That was odd.

Michael: Not really. Kids love boundaries. I mean, look at these girls. Is this what you want?

Tobias: Oh, God, no.

Michael: This could be where your daughter is headed.

Tobias: Oh, no, no, I don’t want this for Maeby either.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.37 (65 votes)

G.O.B.: Oh, here it is. Here it is.

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