Michael: I don’t know her, you know? It’s like you spend all your time with her. It’s like you’re hogging her. Like you’re a little Ann hog, okay? Don’t be such an Ann hog.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.12 (58 votes)

Michael: We’re going to go to Mexico, try to find Papa. It’ll be an adventure.

Tobias: And 8:01. Curtain has risen.

Michael: Hey, Tobias, I was wondering if you are available tomorrow to go down to Mexico. I need two drivers.

Tobias: Alas, I have two shows tomorrow that I am standby for the Blue Man Group. Might as well keep this makeup on, since it takes so bleeping long to get off.

Michael: Hmm. Lindsay, what about you?

Lindsay: Uh, can’t. I have a big date tomorrow.

Michael: You know, this open marriage is ridiculous. Somebody’s going to get hurt.

Maeby: The important thing is that you guys don’t lose focus on yourselves.

Tobias: You know, first of all, we are doing this for her, okay, because neither one of us wants to get divorced. And second-of-ly, I know you’re the big marriage expert. Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot. Your wife is dead. I’m sorry. That was 100% inappropriate, and I do apologize profusely. I’m... Oh...

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.64 (385 votes)

Lindsay: Okay, look, I don’t have a date tomorrow, but why can’t you ask G.O.B. to go with you?

Narrator: Michael and G.O.B. had been to Mexico once before.

Mexican Teenager: Chiclet? Chiclet?

G.O.B.: You’re the Chiclet! Not me. Coka, coka, coka, coh!

Narrator: Unfortunately, in Mexican culture, this was a much more inflammatory gesture.

1927

“Usted baila como un hombre que vive como mujer.”

You dance like a homosexual.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.40 (80 votes)

Michael: Hey, hey...

Michael: I just think you and I would have a lot more fun.

Narrator: And the next morning, the family met at Buster’s sendoff party, where Lucille was not keeping her feelings hidden.

Abu Gharib

Lucille gives Buster a camcorder so he can videotape when they put him in a “naked pyramid,” a reference to photos by American servicemen and women in the Iraqi prison.

Lucille: A camcorder. That’s so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns.

Buster: I ought to point to Uncle Oscar’s Charlie Browns next time you’re on top of him, Mother.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.51 (74 votes)

Lucille: He’s moving out!

Buster: It’s too late for apologies. I’m going to the Army! Get me out. You’ve got to get me out.

Michael: Well, you know, I’m headed down to Mexico to try to find Dad, but when I get back, maybe we’ll try to figure something out.

Narrator: And that’s when Buster decided to sneak into Mexico to avoid the service.

Buster: Oh, no, I think it’ll be worked out by then. (Giggles.)

Lindsay: What was that all about?

Michael: I think Buster’s going to escape to Mexico. Did the secretary not give you the picture for Dad? I need that to show the people down there.

Lindsay: I guess she brought that over.

Michael: Well, this, uh, is a blueprint... of Dad’s face. She used the big printer; I’ll give her that.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.11 (36 votes)

Michael: Let’s go.

Lindsay: Uh, not so fast. G.O.B., who is that man on the couch?

G.O.B.: Who, that guy? He’s my friend.

Lindsay: You don’t have friends.