Which Came First?
Episode Transcript
Written by Brad Copeland.
Michael: It is!
George Michael: Oh, my...
Michael: We got her. Okay. Let’s go ahead and load up in the truck. I think we’re crashing some poor guy’s wake.
G.O.B.: Michael, Michael, Michael.
Michael: G.O.B.?! What are you doing?
G.O.B.: Fleeing the country, you bastard?
Michael: No, I’m still not fleeing, okay? I’m just here to pick up my son’s girlfriend. She ran off the last time we were leaving.
Ann 2.0: Actually, I was sitting right there the whole time.
George Michael: Way to plant, Ann.
Michael: George Michael, why don’t you and Plant just wait in the staircar?
Michael: I’m just going to finish up with G.O.B.
George Michael: What a scare.
Michael: Why do you keep thinking that I’m running away?
G.O.B.: I mean, it is kind of suspicious, you didn’t even ask me to drive down here with you.
Michael: Well, the only reason I didn’t ask you to come with us is because of your chicken impression.
G.O.B.: Yeah, we sure did get in a lot of trouble for that last time, didn’t we? Oh, yeah. I was all... Coka-coka-coka-coh, yeah, baby!
Michael: No... (Yelling.) No! Get off him! He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s American.
Gene Parmesan: Americano? A-just-a like-a me! Gene Parmesan. How you doing?
G.O.B.: Gene, what the hell are you doing?
Gene Parmesan: Well, your mother sent me to find you. She was worried you were up to something.
G.O.B.: I was just looking for a friend.
Michael: What?
G.O.B.: Yeah, that’s right, Michael. I went to our mother because I don’t have any friends.
Gene Parmesan: Oh, that’s funny.
Michael: Thank you, Gene. Can I just have a private moment, please with...?
Gene Parmesan: Okay, you’re on the clock.
Michael: Thank you. G.O.B., what are you talking about? If anybody needs a friend right now, it’s me. I mean, you know, my son’s furious at me, and he spends all of his free time with this girl that frankly, I’m not that crazy about.
G.O.B.: Not crazy about? Or not crazy about your son growing up?
Michael: Uh... uh... maybe, maybe you’re right about that. And I really haven’t gotten to know her. I’ve been a little selfish, so... See? You are a friend, you know? I’m always going to look out for you, all right? And... you’re always going to look out for me...
Ice: (Yelling.)
G.O.B.: Sorry, I did see him coming. It’s just... kind of wanted to see where you were going with that.
George Michael: Where’s Uncle G.O.B.?
Michael: Well, I gave the bounty hunter and the P.I. a few extra bucks to be his friends for the weekend, while the three of them are looking for my father. And I want to get to know a new friend, too. Ann, why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself?
Narrator: The next day, Buster was happy... and he decided to never go home again.
Buster: (Mexican accent.) Delivery from the kitchen!
Narrator: But unfortunately, he was already there.
Buster: (Gasps.) Mother?!
Lucille: Buster?! I thought you were in Mexico.
