Written by John Levenstein.
Barry: The will is not here, the will is at my office next to the hot plate with the frayed wires. I didn’t, uh... (Muttering.)
Narrator: In fact, Barry had lost George Sr.’s will.
Barry: ...how did I get here?
Barry: Oh, my God, Lucille, he is gone.
Maeby: We have to have a wake.
Narrator: Maeby was upset, but saw a chance to fix up her mother.
Maeby: I don’t know, maybe we can get Ice to cater it or something. I don’t know what I’m saying.
Lindsay: We don’t even have a body.
G.O.B.: I will be my father’s body. I will be the one buried. Because he loved magic so very much.
Michael: I don’t think G.O.B. knows what he’s saying.
G.O.B.: I know exactly what I’m saying. I will be buried in my father’s place, and then one week later I will emerge from the grave in one of the greatest illusions ever.
Michael: This is all about getting into Poof?
G.O.B.: I mean, how does that not get me a cover?
Lucille: We can’t tell him about this.
Oscar: I think the boy’s been lied to enough.
Lucille: You weren’t here for the parakeet, Oscar.
Narrator: As a child, Buster had a beloved parakeet who, after landing on their housekeeper Rosa’s wig, flew away when she took out the trash... and into a transformer.
Narrator: When Buster found out, he destroyed the family’s kitchen— believing this to be where Rosa lived.
Buster: Are you guys planning a party?
Oscar: Yes, it’s your father’s birthday. Which coincidentally is my birthday.
Buster: Because you’re twins.
Buster: (Chuckles.) Well, I’ve got some shopping to do.
Narrator: George Michael, meanwhile, had just been broken up with by his first girlfriend and was on his way home.
Narrator: And he went to his father for comfort.
George Michael: Dad?
Michael: I’ve got some bad news.
George Michael: What? What, is Ann telling everyone?
Michael: It’s your grandfather. Apparently, he’s dead.
George Michael: Are you okay?
Michael: Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Uh, sorry. What were you saying about Ann?
Narrator: George Michael didn’t want to burden his father with his breakup.
George Michael: Nothing. I just... I broke up with her. It’s no big deal.
Michael: Really? Are you okay?
George Michael: Me? I’m great.
Michael: Mm-hmm. Yeah?
George Michael: I’m great.