The One Where They Talk About Season Two
A Tale of Two Sitcoms: Part 2
Correction: George Bluth, Sr. Not Yet Dead
The Hot Cops Uncover: George Bluth, Sr.’s Death Certificate
Episode Transcript
Written by John Levenstein.
Michael: A birthday gift pile?
Narrator: Michael recalled what Buster did to what he thought was Rosa’s car with what he thought was Rosa’s favorite toy.
Michael: Yours is the first.
Buster: And the most wicked. (Giggles.)
Lucille: Get him out of here. We can’t let him know it’s a wake.
G.O.B.: Buster, let’s go get that coffin ready to be buried.
Narrator: And so the family gathered to remember George, Sr.
Michael: If anyone would like to say anything about Dad, now’s the time. Anyone? Anyone? Perhaps my son, George Michael would like to say something. Huh? Want to share your feelings? It’s okay to cry, pal. It’s okay.
George Michael: Yeah? Wow. He’s really gone. But you know, I think that if he was here right now, I would probably tell him that it all worked out. And that, um, I’ll be bringing you some salmon rolls right away. In heaven.
George, Sr.: How many times I got to tell this kid chicken wings?
- “Slut” shirt
- The “Slut” shirt Maeby chose was first seen in My Mother The Car.
Narrator: Lindsay got up to speak in an outfit her daughter had chosen.
Lindsay: My father meant the world to me. (Sobs.)
Maeby: Wipe, Mom. Give it a wipe.
George, Sr.: That’s a home run.
Narrator: And finally, Michael got up to speak.
Michael: I had a very complicated relationship with my father.
Michael: Ice? Can you just cool it on that smoothie for right now?
George, Sr.: There are smoothies?
Michael: I could never trust my father, but I always want my son to be able to trust me. So, from now on, we’re always going to be honest with each other, okay? ’Cause there’s nobody I love more than you in this whole world.
G.O.B.: Michael, listen, can we move the eulogy outside, so I can time being lowered into Dad’s grave with your big finish?
Michael: I’m done.
G.O.B.: Wow, that was your eulogy? Glad Dad wasn’t around to see that.
George Michael: That was great.
Michael: Well, I meant it. So no more secret trips up to the attic, right?
Narrator: George Michael didn’t want to betray his grandfather, but it appeared that his father already knew the truth.
George Michael: I have Pop-Pop in the attic.
Michael: What? The mere fact that you call making love “Pop-Pop” tells me you’re not ready.
G.O.B.: Hey! Before we lose the sun!
G.O.B.: The speeches we heard today we nothing more than words, but I will prove that I love my father more than anybody.
G.O.B.: Buster! Buster! As you can see, this is a normal coffin.
Buster: (Grunting.)
G.O.B.: Something’s gone wrong.
