The One Where They Talk About Season Two
A Tale of Two Sitcoms: Part 2
The Magical Arrested Development Tour, Part I
Episode Transcript
Sergeant Baker: I did not say that.
G.O.B.: Are you going to let that slide? Are you going to allow your children and your children’s children and any children that I might have out there to live in fear for the rest of their lives?! Climb that wall, homo!
Sergeant Baker: Climb it.
Narrator: And just as the men thought the day could get no more surprising, it did.
Buster: (Agonized grunting.)
G.O.B.: Now, when you do this without getting punched, you’ll have more fun.
Maeby: Oh, hey, George Michael.
George Michael: Oh. Hi.
Maeby: They found WMDs in Iraq, so we got a half day.
George Michael: Cool. So, I got a “C” on my math test. Not anticipating a good reaction on that.
Maeby: Well, the “B” got you glasses. Maybe this time you’ll get a neck brace.
Maeby: Anyways, have you seen my Mom?
George Michael: It’s possible.
Maeby: She’s on her way to meet Steve Holt.
George Michael: Steve Holt? I thought you liked him.
Maeby: I do. I’m crazy about him. But he’s obsessed with her. That’s all he wants to talk about.
Narrator: Lindsay felt bad. Perhaps she had hurt her daughter by putting herself first. But she would have felt worse if she’d remained even a moment longer.
Maeby: But it’s only because he thinks she’s got a penis. Oh, I told him she was a tranny.
Narrator: Meanwhile, Michael was still up in the attic.
Michael: Dad? What’s going on? Somebody could see you.
George, Sr.: What’s the difference, Michael? You’re turning me in, aren’t you?
Michael: They say you’re involved in something big, Dad. They’ve got photos.
George, Sr.: It’s not true, but go, knock yourself out, turn me in. I went and saw for myself. She’s in love with him.
Michael: Then why’d you come back? Why didn’t you leave forever like you said?
George, Sr.: And go where? (Sighing.) Make a deal for yourself, Mike. I have no love in my life anymore.
Narrator: And Michael realized for the first time that his father was capable of having his heart broken. Later that day, Michael had his meeting with the prosecutor.
Wayne Jarvis: So, where the hell is he? Come on, Bluth, what’s it going to be— your father or your freedom?
Narrator: And Michael had to do the right thing.
Michael: I don’t know what happened to him.
Wayne Jarvis: Michael, when we started talking to you, we didn’t have anything. But now... we got something. And you’re going to do time for it.
Barry: Those are the pictures?
Wayne Jarvis: They’re all over the news.
Barry: Those are balls.
Wayne Jarvis: What?
Narrator: Barry was right. Tobias had inadvertently photographed himself while learning to use his camera phone.
Barry: This close, they always look like landscape. Nope, you’re looking at balls.
Narrator: Soon, forensic scientists confirmed this. And for the second time in two days, the information sharing network put into place by the Patriot Act was put to use.
Narrator: And eventually, the news traveled back to the source.
We Blew It!
