The One Where They Talk About Season Two
A Tale of Two Sitcoms: Part 2
The Magical Arrested Development Tour, Part I
Episode Transcript
John Beard: We got one wrong, and we do apologize.
Tobias: I’m on TV.
Narrator: And Michael returned home a free man.
Michael: Got the glasses. Now you’ll do better on those math exams.
George Michael: I think I blew the eye exam too, because every time I take these off, I feel better.
Michael: Let me see them.
George Michael: Hey, I, I’ve seen this before.
Narrator: For a while, George Michael had shared a room with his Uncle Tobias.
George Michael: Uh, there’s a ladder.
Tobias: (Grunting.) Oh, I don’t need it.
Michael: Yeah, I don’t think you need glasses, son.
George, Sr.: Uh, if the cops are waiting, I’m ready to go. I got nothing since your mother deserted me.
Michael: You know, you, you deserted her, Dad. You know, you escaped, and then you faked your death. I’m not so sure she sees you as that reliable. But listen, for what it’s worth... I did not turn you in.
George, Sr.: You didn’t?
Michael: No.
Michael: And, I don’t know whether it’s just Tracy’s maternity clothes, but it’s very nice to see a softer side of you.
Michael: Although I’m sorry that you feel you have no love in your life.
George, Sr.: I-I don’t feel that way anymore. Thanks. It’s been a long time since someone stood up for me.
Michael: You found her perfume, huh?
George, Sr.: There was just a little left in the bottle.
Michael: That was the end of it.
George, Sr.: Oh.
Michael: It’s nice on you.
George, Sr.: Thank you.
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Oscar returns to find a now distant Lucille...
Oscar: I’m back. But just for now, ’cause you get on my case, I am out of here.
Lucille: Then go. Who needs you?
Narrator: ...which was what attracted him to her in the first place.
Oscar: God, I missed you.
Narrator: Lindsay reconciles with her daughter.
Maeby: Hey, Mom.
Lindsay: Hey.
Maeby: I got you something.
Lindsay: That is so sweet. You know what? I was hoping we could go to dinner tonight.
Maeby: Oh, I thought you were going to go see Steve Holt at school.
Lindsay: No, I just wanted to check him out and make sure he’s good enough for my daughter. Is it...?
Maeby: It’s a “Sheh-ma-lee.”
Lindsay: It’s gorgeous. I’m wearing it to dinner.
Narrator: Tobias, traumatized by the public exposure, returns to an unfortunate quirk.
Tobias: Thank God—my cutoffs!
George, Sr.: There were cutoffs up here?
END.
