Michael: Yeah. You’re my little niece. I think we should be a little bit more time together.
Maeby: Yeah, and if it makes my mom jealous...
Michael: And George Michael can run back to his precious Ann. Great. Good deal.
Narrator: Michael and Maeby stopped by the office to see if G.O.B. needed help for the party that was now hours away.
G.O.B.: ...king 63 hundred dollar suit. Come on!
Michael: Hi there.
G.O.B.: What’s she doing here?
Maeby: Merry Christmas to you, too, Uncle G.O.B.
Michael: Everything all right?
G.O.B.: I just don’t want people’s kids getting their sticky little fingers all over these twenty-six hundred dollar pants.
Michael: Oh, yeah? You think they’re gonna go right for the pants, do you?
G.O.B.: Okay, okay, okay. So, should-should... should, uh, should... Should-should... should... sh-sh-should Sh-sh-sh... Should-Should... should, uh, should...
Michael: We’ll do it your way. I’m just here to have fun.
G.O.B.: Not too much, all right? I already gave my big sexual harassment speech today.
G.O.B.: Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice bleeping or bleeping or finger bleep or bleepsting or bleeping or even bleep. Even though so many people in this office are begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister Lindsay, I’ll take off my pants, I’ll shave bleep. And I’ll personally bleep...
G.O.B.: Let’s get this going.
Michael: What are you talking about, now? You’re not gonna let these people go home and change their clothes?
G.O.B.: I don’t think we need people trying to compete with what I’m wearing.
G.O.B.: (To workers.) Everybody, uh, come out of your offices, please. Party is now started. Here we go.
G.O.B.: Let’s go. Everybody dance now! Everybody dance now!
Michael: Oh, I think we’re off to a great start.
Narrator: And so, Michael started to become relaxed. And a short time later, his mother arrived anything but.
Lucille: Someone broke in again! The liquor is gone. All of it. Gone!
Narrator: In fact, G.O.B. had stolen it earlier that day to cut down on the cost of the party.
Lucille: I’m all alone there, Michael.
Michael: You know, Buster’s only stationed about five miles away.
Narrator: In fact, Buster never went to the Army. He’d gotten hooked playing the skill crane and missed his first day.
Buster: (Giggling, making silly sounds.)
Narrator: Somewhat ashamed and with nowhere to go...
G.O.B.: Hey, Buster.
Buster: Hey, brother.
Narrator: ...he returned home.
Lucille: (Gasps.) Buster! Thank God you’re back. There’s no shame in being a coward.
Buster: A coward? I’m not a coward. Would a coward have this?
Lucille: What the hell is that?
Buster: These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing.
Lucille: You’re doing well?
Buster: I was just dropping these off.