Michael: No, we just had a party.

G.O.B.: Yeah, but I didn’t get to have any fun.

Narrator: And so, Michael went to work on another Christmas party, this time with the help of his niece.

Michael: I really appreciate you doing this. I didn’t want to ask George Michael. Did you see that he showed up at the party for five minutes last night and left without even saying good-bye.

Maeby: Hey, my mom doesn’t even want to be in the same room with me.

Lucille: Michael. I was almost attacked last night, in my own home. I walk in and there’s a colored man in my kitchen.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.54 (70 votes)

Michael: “Colored”? What color was he exactly?

Lucille: Blue.

Michael: Yeah, I sent him to your house to keep you safe.

Lucille: Well, he did a terrible job, didn’t he? I need someone else. Someone better. What about this one? She’s got thick arms.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.40 (53 votes)

Michael: Mom, you just need to calm down a little bit. You’re so tense.

Lucille: How am I supposed to calm down?

Lucille: I mean, maybe I should move in with you.

Narrator: And Michael realized he needed to retrieve his Uncle Oscar.

Michael: How would you like to go on a road trip?

Maeby: No, I want to stay with her. Let’s go.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.30 (50 votes)

Narrator: And so the two of them prepared to drive up the coast.

Michael: Okay, you’re in charge of the radio, and we’re not stopping until we find Uncle Oscar.

Maeby: There he is.

Michael: My mom is very stressed out, and, uh, she needs something that I can’t give her. Um... maybe a little “Afternoon Delight”?

marijuana

Oscar mistakes Afternoon Delight for “Afternoon Deelite.”

Narrator: Oscar thought that Michael was referring to a particular brand of cannabis named “Afternoon Deelite,” a strain famous for slowing behavior.

Oscar: Well, sure. The question is, which way do I try to get it in her?

Michael: I don’t need any details.

Oscar: Maybe I’ll put it in her brownie.

Michael: Hey!

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.64 (230 votes)

Lindsay: What happened to you?

Tobias: What? Oh, oh, my ears. The doctor said I can’t go to sleep for five hours, or I might die, or something.

Lindsay: Hey, have you seen Maeby?

George Michael: You’re not going to believe this. Apparently, my dad and Maeby took a drive up the coast.

Lindsay: You’re kidding me.

Lindsay: This is ridiculous. So she’s got a new parent.

George Michael: Yeah, now my dad’s got a new kid.

Tobias: I’m going to lie down for a little bit. But just, I-I... it’s... I can’t fall...

Lindsay: (Whispers.) Hey, how would you like to come to the party with me today?

Narrator: And Oscar was giving Lucille a little “Afternoon Deelite.”

Lucille: Mmm, these are really delicious.

Oscar: I’ll get some more.

five minutes later...

Oscar: Where did she go?