Written by Brad Copeland.
Michael: So, I don’t typically take sides with Mother, but I-I do agree that Lucille 2 might not be the best choice for you.
Buster: I wouldn’t have even been there if Mom wanted to go bowling.
Buster: How am I going to meet someone who has my interests?
Starla: Hi, Michael. I have those papers for you to sign.
Michael: Thank you. Perfect.
Starla: By the way, I love your mother!
Buster: Oh. Yeah, I do, too. (Laughs.)
Michael: I think I may have found a new girl for Buster.
Michael: Get even with you for what?
Lucille: Oh, she wanted me to let in her remodeling crew while she was out of town.
Michael: Wait a minute. This tub’s a little bigger than it used to.
Narrator: It was. Instead of letting the construction crew into Lucille Austero’s penthouse...
Lucille: Come right in.
Narrator: ...Lucille had put them to work on a project of her own.
Lucille: Don’t give me that look. I moved the wall a couple of inches into her penthouse. And don’t think she’s not over there right now plotting her revenge.
Lucille 2: God, the new equilibrium really does... It makes the room seem tighter.
Lucille: She’s always a step ahead of me. That’s what makes her such a worthy opponent.
Michael: How did you pay for it?
Lucille: Oh, I cashed in some stock. You know it was unfrozen.
Michael: I know. I sent you that letter. It says not to sell, or we’re gonna lose control.
Lucille: It does? I stopped at “unfrozen.”
Michael: Lindsay, you didn’t cash in your stock, did you? Tell me you didn’t.
Lindsay: I didn’t.
Country Club Manager: There’s a pretty long wait list for membership right now...
Michael: G.O.B., you didn’t sell, did you?
G.O.B.: What? No. I’m trying to get a job from you, Mikey. Come on.
Michael: Okay. As long as you two didn’t sell, I think we should be okay. I was afraid that I...
Tobias: I just bought the Queen Mary!
G.O.B.: You’re kidding. I was just gonna get a yacht.
Tobias: No, no, no. The club. I was dancing with what turned out to be the club’s owner, and he was looking to sell. Oh, he-he really, really did look like a woman. But anywho, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it’s in a terrifying neighborhood?!
Michael: This isn’t good.