Written by Brad Copeland.
Maeby: George Michael, I read your notes.
George Michael: What? Uh, you found the... W-Well, look, I don’t... That was a long...
Maeby: They were great. I mean, they said so many things I wanted to say but I didn’t know how, you know? Don’t tell anyone, okay?
George Michael: Never.
Narrator: Meanwhile, Tobias prepared to assume ownership of the Queen Mary.
Tobias: No, no, no, it’s supposed to say “Tobias’s Queen Mary.” No, that is not what it says. I distinct... hello?
Tobias: (Sighing.) Well, I suppose I could just paint over “Mary.”
Hot Cop #5: Don’t bother, man. This is our club now.
Narrator: Tobias didn’t want to sell his new club, but Lindsay did, which is why she hired several members of a local stripper agency called “The Hot Cops” to pose as the roughnecks.
Tobias: All right, fellas, look, I know you know nothing but a life on the street. But I’d like to offer you something that the Queen Mary gave me. The joy of the stage. So, maybe you could, uh, start jeté-ing, and stop... je-terrorizing me.
Hot Cop #5: Yeah! Absolutely!Oh, this is joyous news!
Narrator: And Buster, now convinced that Lucille 2 was the right woman for him, broke up with Starla.
Michael: You okay?
Buster: It was for the best anyway. A girl like that deserves to be taken care of, and I’m just a poor soldier.
Michael: You didn’t sell your stock?
Buster: What? No. Your letter said not to, and I would never want to hurt the family.
Narrator: And Michael realized his little brother deserved happiness more than anyone.
Michael: You know, uh, I-I want you to forget about what I said. I was wrong; you two belong together. I’ll take care of Lucille 2 for you.
Buster: Let her down easy. That right knee could go at any time.
Narrator: And at the “Tobias is Queen Mary,” Tobias couldn’t believe how quickly he had gotten through to his ragtag gang of neighborhood toughs.
Tobias: Wow. You really have made some amazing strides in a half an hour. We have to take this to the streets. We have to strut!
Narrator: Michael knew if he had any chance of getting control of the company again, he would need to charm Lucille 2.
Michael: Lucille 2.
Lucille 2: Your hair.
Michael: Can I take you for a spin?
Narrator: But the spin in Michael’s new car re-triggered her vertigo. That night, Tobias’s plan to change the streets with his gang also turned out to be ill-conceived.
Tobias: Hey, fezellas, looks like you guys are up to no good. Well... this gang used to be like that, too... three, four!
Hot Cop #5: (Singing.) / Hip of the Crips / There’s a new gang in town... /
Hot Cop #5: Oh! I’ve been shot!
Tobias: We miscalculated! Retreat!
Hot Cop #5: (Yelling.) That’s not going to help.
Narrator: Meanwhile, Michael and Lucille 2 arrived to find the club nearly empty. Although Michael would have fit in perfectly.
Michael: Tell you what, Lucille, I’m going to take you dancing.
Lucille 2: No, Michael, please. You have undone all of Dr. Sandor Plumb’s work.
Michael: Oh, I’m sorry. Look, the reason that I showed up tonight was because I don’t think that it’s right for you to be dating my brother. I mean, he’s met someone else, and frankly, the only reason that he asked you out tonight was because I wanted him to get the stock back from you so that I could regain control of the company. But... I would... I’d rather have my brother back, so... Sorry.
Lucille 2: I understand.