Lucille 2: I’m sorry, but you have no courage.
G.O.B.: How can you say that? Shh! Thought I heard my mom. (Sotto voce.) How can you say that?
Narrator: And on the other side of the wall, Lucille was finalizing her plans for the evening.
Lucille: You can bid up to $10,000.
Michael: The deal is off. You didn’t tell me it was a restricted membership. Just find somebody else to do your bidding.
Lucille: There is no one else to do my bidding.
Sally Sitwell: Hi.
Michael: Hi. Hey.
Sally Sitwell: They said I could see you, finally.
Sally Sitwell: Oh, God, I just feel... awful for whoever’s car that was.
Michael: Mm-hmm. I know it. (Coughs.) Sally, I was thinking that maybe you and I could...
Sally Sitwell: Don’t try to talk. I have to run anyway. I got to do this charity auction thing.
Intern: I’m sorry, sir, your Blue Cross/Blue Shield was denied. We’ve called your mother.
Sally Sitwell: I’ll be back. I’ll check on you later. Feel better.
Michael: (Continues coughing.) ...go out sometime. Mmm.
Narrator: Michael decided to bid on her at the auction, and he knew just where he could get the money to do so.
Michael: Yeah, start draining the hot tub. It’s going back.
Narrator: And Lucille, with no other prospects, turned to the son she least expected to support her...
Lucille: G.O.B., I don’t suppose I could pay you to bid on me at a charity auction.
Narrator: ... and G.O.B. was just depressed enough to do so.
G.O.B.: Whatever you want.
Lucille: Oh, goody!
Narrator: And finally, George Michael and Ann’s Christian music bonfire was underway.
Uncle Paul: Eh? Eh? Without ever going to the gym.
George Michael: I can’t believe how many people you told about this.
Maeby: I hope I didn’t confuse people by saying it was a CD burning party.
Steve Holt: Great party! (Laughing.) Maeby, I burned, like, ten CDs from somebody’s MP3 player.
Ann 2.0: This is a disaster.
Maeby: You know, maybe you should try listening to some of the music.
George Michael: Some of the artists are kind of talented. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of The Jerky Boys. They do these prank phone calls. It’s kind of old school, but... I have the tape in my room. I accidentally didn’t burn it yet.
Narrator: Meanwhile, the auction began.
Auctioneer: Next up, we’ve got last year’s charity case— Lindsay Fünke.
Narrator: Lindsay showed up...
Michael: Oh, no, not again.
Narrator: ...although she was still feeling the effects of the tranquilizer.