Narrator: Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s... Arrested Development.

Narrator: Michael Bluth arrived home to find his mother, Lucille, in a state of agitation.

Lucille: I think the company is in trouble.

Michael: What tipped you? The falling profits, or that we’re a regular feature on Bill O’Reilly’s “Most Ridiculous Item of the Day”?

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.10 (50 votes)

Lucille: I’m talking about the fact that my “friend,” Lucille Austero, bought our company, and I think she’s going for a power grab— that bitch!

Michael: You’re not at home, Mom. She doesn’t live next door when you’re here.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.55 (109 votes)

Michael: Secondly, she’s already grabbed power. She’s the majority shareholder of the company.

Lucille: I’ll tell you what she wants to grab— your brother G.O.B.

Narrator: In fact, Lucille 2 was already with G.O.B.

G.O.B.: You look really nice.

Narrator: But she was growing tired of his neediness.

G.O.B.: Where you going?

Lucille 2: I’m going to my spin class.

G.O.B.: I thought you had vertigo.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.18 (61 votes)

Lucille: She’ll sell the company, or break it up into little parts or something, all under the guise of “caring” about our family.

Michael: I certainly hope she’s not planning a move.

Lucille: I wouldn’t put it past her.

Lucille: She’d love to get at me any way she could. That’s why she’s been flirting with G.O.B. She’s trying to prove that she’s closer to my children than I am, but the joke’s on her, because she doesn’t know how little I care for G.O.B.

Michael: I think that makes the joke on G.O.B.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.57 (137 votes)

George Michael: Hey, Dad.

Michael: Hey, buddy. Was that Gangee who was just... You all right?

Michael: Sorry. Your grandmother had a little accident here.

George Michael: Oh. Does that mean she’s going to have to come live with us?

Michael: No, no. No. It was her drink, and even if it wasn’t...

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.56 (126 votes)

Michael: Do you remember when I bid on Sally Sitwell at the bachelorette auction? They sent me this basket with all this stuff for our date— you know, the whole package. Anyway, I thought maybe we could do it together, you know, sort of like a Valentine’s present.

George Michael: You’re not gonna take Sally?

Michael: Sally? No, no, I wanted it for us. I never wanted to be with Sally.

Narrator: Actually, Michael had gone over to Sitwell Enterprises...

Sitwell Secretary: Michael Bluth to see Sally.

Narrator: ...one day earlier to set up the date with Sally.

Sitwell Secretary: I’m afraid she’s not here, Michael. If you’d like me to take the package, I can give it to her.

Michael: No, no. This is, uh, this is not for her. It’s for my son. Just... don’t tell her I came by.

Narrator: In fact, Sally wasn’t there, and the person Michael saw was her father.

Stan Sitwell: You kidding? This makes me look like my daughter.

Stylist: Oh, no one’s going to think that.

Stan Sitwell: I look like Edgar Winter here. Forget it. I’ve gotta get to spin class.

Michael: So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here.

George Michael: What’s Kama Sutra oil?

Michael: Maybe it’s not for us.

Vote: ***** / Average: 4.53 (88 votes)

Tobias: (Laughing.) Valentine’s Day, when Cu... Oh! Was your mother here?

Michael: You all right? I’ll help you up.